The Grinch: It's cooler to be kind.

The Grinch: It's cooler to be kind.

Being "nice" tends to come with a waft of Ned Flanders-do-gooder mustiness. It feels disingenuous and a little doughy.

It can also have other sad side effects, including the likelihood of earning less and irking others because it makes them look bad

"Nice" has received a nasty rap on many fronts, in fact. "Nice guys", for instance, not only don't get the girl, but may actually be thinly veiled arseholes on the inside.

As for nice girls? Well, apparently they just don't "get it".

So, quite frankly, guy or girl, bothering to be agreeable seems distinctly unappealing. Let's all just be done with it, embrace our inner arseholes and wallow in the glorious, dirty satisfaction of bah humbug.

Satisfaction aside, a dash of Grinch has more grit appeal and seems more authentic.

Unless of course nice has more spunk than we give it credit for.

For starters, kindness can bring on a natural high as dopamine kicks in. The flood of happy hormones associated with looking out for others also soothes the nervous system.

And if you need a further sweetener, a video doing the rounds of Upworthy, a sharing site with cult-like status, questions whether we've all got "nice" just a little bit wrong.

There is the point that nice, as a pretence or nice as a cloak for expectation and entitlement, isn't particularly true to the sense of the word in the first place.

But nice also needn't mean being a pushover.

In his video, blogger Kevin says that the idea of being nice meaning being taken advantage of is a mistake.

"I think it represents a misunderstanding of what it means to be nice," he says in the video, which has received nearly 100,000 hits.

"Being nice involves thinking of other human beings complexly and being considerate of their feelings. It means not provoking any unecessary conflicts and helping people when they need help."

Similarly, he argues that being passive and letting people walk all over you is "not part of the definition" of the word nice.

"I think part of being nice is being selfless from time to time, but I don't think that means you have to completely ignore your own desires and principles all the time."

Nor does it mean you have to compromise your own values or refrain from singling out the douchebags of the day.

"You're allowed to have your own opinions and you're allowed and probably sometimes obligated to call people out for being a douchebag. But do it from a place of compassion and principle, not sadism or vengeance.

"And most importantly, you are allowed to and probably should stand up for yourself when you're being wronged. This in no way disqualifies you from being a nice person. How would it?"

It is an eloquent argument, reframing a quality that often gets cast as pathetic.

"It's also important to understand that just because some random person doesn't think you're a nice person doesn't necessarily mean you aren't a nice person," he says.

"You should also remember that walking away from conflict is often the best choice. This doesn't mean you're being a doormat or a wimp, this is a rational decision that eliminates drama from your life and people do respect that."

But this doesn't mean being dishonest in order to appease others.

"There are tactful ways to talk to people," Kevin says. "For example if your friend asks you if you like her ugly shirt, you can say 'no, it's hideous. You look like a f---ing ogre right now.' Or you can say 'hey, it's not really my thing, but, if you're feeling it then rock on...'

"That said you don't always have to add your two cents. Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you have to share it with everybody."

Whether or not keeping your opinion to yourself or framing it differently makes you two-faced is a "weird issue" accrding to Kevin.

"It implies that a better alternative is to intentionally be rude to this person... I would say if there is a person whom you dislike so much that being cordial to them is abnormal then you might need to look at yourself for a minute.

"I understand that some people are super-douchey and some people are f---ing terrible. I know. But, if you are letting the actions of someone else control your behaviour, I think you're doing it wrong. You don't have to be all smiles and giggles, but as I said before there is a such a thing as tact and in general avoiding unecessary conflict makes your life go by much smoother.

"Being nice to people you don't like is not being two-faced, it's being mature, but that's just me?"