Heli Harrison lost her partner of 30 years, Lyndon, in February, making her one of many Canberrans feeling the pain of separation at this traditional family time.

"It will be 10 months on Christmas Eve, and coming from a European background we always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve," she said.

"He'll be very conspicuous by his absence. We are going to miss him a lot.

"But I don't know how I'll react on the day."

Ms Harrison, 70, said the personal grief of losing your partner for life was something many people – even other widows or widowers – did not understand or want to talk about.

"It's indescribable – it changes your life completely," she said.

"I've never been a person who has cried, even when Lyn was diagnosed [with motor neurone disease], and I've cried more tears then I've cried in my life since his death."

For Ms Harrison, it was only the support of fellow partners in grief through self-help group Solace ACT that helped her recover.

The group, nearing the end of its 25^th year, allows women and men who have lost partners to share their stories.

"To each his own, people's grief is all different, but for me it has been a godsend, " Ms Harrison said.

"You feel very safe in this environment – I feel I can say what is on my mind and on my heart, knowing that the others will understand, will not be critical, and that they may have suggestions about dealing with things."

Solace ACT president Pam Burrowes said the group had 54 members – its numbers had been boosted by a "surprising" six to eight new arrivals since October.

Members had been aged from 28 to 91 years, but the the majority were above 50, Ms Burrowes said.

Joining the group soon after her husband died eight and-a-half years ago, she said this time of the year was difficult for many.

"The first and second Christmas is particularly sad because everyone is tied up with their families and friends and you don't have that loved one who was there," Ms Burrowes said.

Further information on the bi-monthly support group can be obtained by calling Ms Burrowes on 62886434 or by email pamjack@ozemail.com.au