MOVEMBER is a worthy cause encouraging men to grow moustaches during the month of November to raise money and awareness about men's health issues. Unfortunately, it results in many unsightly examples of facial hair the worst of which happens to exist on the face of my husband.

He has been working interstate for the past six weeks, but thoughtfully sent a photo by email the other day. To say I spent a sleepless night with visions of Ivan Milat coursing through my mind doesn't begin to describe it.

I am all for men getting in touch with their healthy side, and being more open to pre-emptive medical checks for all manner of serious diseases from prostate to bowel cancer and depression.

Every year in Australia, 2900 men die of prostate cancer equivalent to the number of women who die from breast cancer annually. And I guess the whole concept of growing moustaches is that it's a highly visible way to raise awareness and money (you can get sponsors to chip in, depending on the lusciousness or paucity of your follicular growth).

But I am sorry to say that as an aesthetic exercise, the mo leaves me and oh so many others completely cold. Unless you are an axe-murderer, or trying to channel your inner porn star or country and western singer circa 1970, the simple fact is the mo has been consigned to the sartorial wasteland for some time. Deepest apologies for any offence to men who choose to sport them year-round ...

As for my husband's be-whiskered top-lip, an ultimatum was delivered that Movember ends this weekend a bit early, true, but not a moment too soon for the good health of the marriage.