There's a how and a why to be asked about tonight's rugby match, played under the pall of Shawn Mackay's death.
How can the ACT Brumbies gather themselves together to compete against the Cape Town Stormers just five days after their teammate died in a South African hospital?Why is it important that they do?The why is the easier question to answer, at least it is now. On Monday, just a couple of hours after learning of Mackay's death, injured Brumbies skipper Stephen Hoiles wasn't sure the Stormers game was of any real consequence.
Asked if his teammates could steel themselves for a Super 14 contest amid their terrible grief, Hoiles, a friend of Mackay since childhood, said: ''I'm not going to worry either way. This has put life into perspective. This weekend's a game of football, a way to earn
a living.''
That sentiment remains true. Concerns of ladder positions and bonus points seem so trivial to the players when a friend's body awaits a funeral in Sydney next
Wednesday.
But as the week has gone by, the Brumbies have more and more come around to the idea that fronting up to the Stormers with every bit of strength and strategy they can muster is important.
It's important to their sense of doing something, however small, for Mackay, who played just 35 minutes for the Brumbies, but who won immense respect and affection.The signal that they should play and win came from the people whose opinions counted the most, Mackay's parents.
Mackay's father John told Brumbies coach Andy Friend late on Monday night that his son would want all his teammates to play on, difficult as that might be.That seemed to galvanise the players, who had all been given the option of standing down this weekend. Injuries aside, Friend has had a full squad to choose from.There's a practical benefit to playing amid their grief.If nothing else, it will be a blessed distraction to spend 80 minutes concentrating on catching, passing, tackling and all the myriad other things they'll need to get right to beat the Stormers.
The alternative would be a night spent with their thoughts. For quite a few that includes the haunting memories of the accident itself , which caused Mackay's serious neck injuries that led to an infection and, ultimately, cardiac arrest.On Wednesday morning Hoiles spoke of the team's desire to play. ''It's what we do, we play football,'' he said. ''It's something to focus on.''So, how are they going to do it? It's a question that has bounced around in the minds of players, coaches and fans alike this week.If you were to have witnessed the touring squad's silent march out of Canberra airport on Monday evening, just hours after they'd been told of Mackay's death, you'd be asking the same question.
From that place of utter desolation, the Brumbies have only managed to come so far.
One of the first steps was to gather for a prayer session on Tuesday, conducted by club chaplain David McDonald, a pastor at Crossroads Christian Ministry. Players and coaches were invited to write down their memories of Mackay and these were all fixed to a wall to be shared. Some players also put down on paper words to describe their emotions. For some, that was too hard.
McDonald said yesterday players and coaches had spent much of the week, ''confronting our own mortality, those issues of who we are, what life's about. There's been a heightened element of that with this being the Easter weekend.''Team manager Rob McQuade, who stayed in South Africa until midweek to help Mackay's family bring his body home, said spiritual support had come from many quarters, including from the Durban Sharks, who have held several prayer sessions dedicated to Mackay.''That's been a great comfort to our guys and to Shawn's family. I know there'll now forever be a special connection between the Brumbies and the Sharks.''For many of the players, this week will have been their first experience of grief. Others will have been through it before. The simple rule has been that there are no rules. Give the other guy some space if he needs it. Talk with him if he wants to. Understand if his way of dealing with things is completely different to yours.Forwards coach Owen Finegan said the closeness forged on the team's week-long Outward Bound camp last November had already paid dividends.
''That camp was the most emotional exercise I've been through in rugby,'' Finegan said.''People shared things about themselves that they wouldn't normally share. When you understand a person better, you work for each other. That's what we've been looking for from each other this week.''McQuade said the team was determined to make it through together. ''One of our mottos is that we're a proud family. We'll stick together''.One thing comforting the Brumbies ''family'' is the knowledge that Mackay was surrounded by loved ones when he died, even though he was so far from home.A few days before he succumbed to cardiac arrest after a blood infection, Mackay was brought out of a coma. His girlfriend Trish and parents John and Leonie were there as he woke and he was able to communicate with them by blinking.
''For all of us that gives us some comfort,'' McQuade said. ''He was surrounded by people who loved him and he knew it.''There's another fairly simple comfort many Brumbies will feel tonight. It's that Mackay, the smiling, laughing, good-natured bloke they knew and who most of us have only started hearing about the last few weeks, will be out there with them a 16th man, invisible to the rest of us.Mackay's best mate, Queensland Reds player Morgan Turinui, didn't get up at 2am to watch Mackay's second and last game for the Brumbies against the Sharks, but he set his TV recorder and watched it the next day.
Sixty minutes in, Turinui got to see his best mate since he was four, ''playing as he always does physical, always in motion, showing the attributes he always showed but doing it at that next level up, showing that he belonged there.''Physical and always in motion. That's what Turinui thinks Mackay would want to see from his Brumbies mates tonight.
No matter the result, just showing effort and commitment would honour him.
''He was a leader by example more than a words guy,'' Turinui said.''Macca would just hope that the boys spoke of him, to him and for him with their actions.
''I really don't think he could ask anything more of them than that.''
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