It was abrasive, brash, confrontational, cocky and dripping with more bling than Mr T's torso.
Welcome to Gold Coast United, a club flogging itself as the self-styled Utopia of the A-League, despite not having played a game and laying claim to just one major recruit, former Juventus goalkeeper Jess Vanstrattan.
At a press conference yesterday that began with the club's billionaire owner Clive Palmer arriving at Skilled Park in his helicopter, the club unveiled Vanstrattan, promised he was the tip of the iceberg in terms of high-class signings, then declared systematic open slather on the league's playing stocks.
Not content to knock politely on the A-League door, Palmer's Gold Coast United seem more inclined to blast it apart with a rocket launcher.
As of today, the club will take the unprecedented step of mailing out glossy brochures to every player in the A-League, with the unapologetic aim of luring them from their current home to the glitzy tourist strip for next year's debut season.
Palmer's multibillion-dollar iron ore empire hasn't been built without treading on the odd toe and it's apparent he and director of coaching Miron Bleiberg hold few concerns about getting offside with rival teams.
"So if all you A-League players are thinking about how tough the game's been and you're not appreciated at your club, remember you can come up here, we'll appreciate you and give you a great lifestyle," Palmer said.
"I don't think it's wrong to take the initiative and point out what we've got to offer. We've got our own jet aircraft to look after the players, we've got a lot to offer we think. Don't be shy in coming forward. We'd like to talk to everybody."
Given the bullish recruiting talk of Bleiberg and Palmer, it's a wonder there will be any room on the Coast roster at all. The pair said they had another half dozen stars waiting to be unveiled, with Palmer claiming there was " a lot of ex-international, current international and current first-grade players in Europe" in the wings.
"And I'm very, very confident we can win the premiership in our first year and that's what we'll be setting out to do," Palmer added.
But don't expect to see the likes of Dwight Yorke or Brazilian legend Juninho in Coast livery. Bleiberg labelled the former Sydney FC signings as "second rate" and too old to be of any use to the new entity.
"I'll give you a small hint. Both Juninho and Dwight Yorke came on the wrong side of 30 and both of them come with 10 per cent left in their career. We're not going to adopt this vision," Bleiberg said.
"We're not going to bring second-rate players or players who come here for a retirement village. If we bring someone, it will be someone in the prime of his career and can still improve and hopefully on the right side of 30."
Palmer is trading on the Gold Coast lifestyle to entice playing staff, with his brochure describing the region as "Australia's playground" and "entertainment capital" and featuring endless shots of beaches, theme parks and golf courses.
Economy class? Not on Palmer's watch. Players will be flown around in one of three private jets belonging to Palmer's Mineralogy company, meaning the "difference between winning and losing", according to the pamphlet.
Palmer can also promise players a life after football if they pursue career opportunities with his company, saying once they sign on the dotted line they are part of the "Mineralogy family".
While Palmer was happy to take on every A-League rival, Bleiberg was focusing his salvos on former employer, the Queensland Roar. He said Frank Farina's players were overpaid and the club was living in constant fear of the Coast plundering its talent.
"They are scared, very scared, of us poaching all the players," Bleiberg said.
"There's a lot of players on the Roar that are getting much more money than they deserve to get because of fear of us. This means the Roar is wasting their resources, which means it makes them weaker."
The Gold Coast will play their first competitive game against Chinese side Beijing Guoan FC in June next year at the famous Bird's Nest Stadium, although Palmer's estimate of a 200,000-strong crowd may be a touch optimistic in the 80,000-seat Olympic home.
Beijing Guoan FC and the Gold Coast now have a relationship, brokered through Palmer's extensive mining links in the country, that could eventually see player and coaching exchanges.
Gosford product Vanstrattan, 26, has been playing in Italy for nine years at Verona and more recently Juventus, where he was second in line to Italian top-liner Gianluigi Buffon.
His return to Australia has been partly driven by his desire to play regular football and crack the Socceroo squad.
"I definitely want to be involved with the Socceroos and to do that I have to be playing regular football. I've learned a lot in Italy but ti hasn't been without its frustrations and sometimes things haven't gone my way," Vanstrattan said.
"This is the right move at the right time for me."