Julia Gillard doesn't have a family.
Well, she does of course, but they aren't quite like those Rudds. Are they Irish? These hardwired quirks of Celtic ethnicity I absolutely recognise: blood thicker than water, the taste for battle.
The gift of the gab, or the blog. Or the Tweet. Or the television camera. Or the Obama-like ''people power'' affirmation campaign for dad, who has been wronged, and must be righted, next Monday preferably.
''Let's own this spill, people,'' Jessica Rudd urged the ladies of the popular Mamma Mia blog late yesterday. ''Let's make it ours. Make your MPs work for you. Tell them what you want. Because unlike my mates in China, we have no excuse for simply sitting back and letting it happen.'' (No Jess. No excuse at all.) Camp Rudd was also bolstered yesterday by a gang of cabinet players and ministers out affirming their man: Martin Ferguson, Kim Carr, Robert McClelland, Chris Bowen - all playing nice, providing counter-point to the stabbing frenzy unleashed against the former foreign minister by Wayne Swan, Stephen Conroy and others.
Camp Rudd were all busily accentuating the positive - apart from Carr, who hinted he'd been threatened. No-one unloaded on the Prime Minister, apart from of course concluding she didn't have a hope in hell of winning the next election.
Apart from that, Gillard was a very lovely lady. She can't help it if Rudd is just more popular. (Like seriously, a lot more popular. Did we mention more popular, you know, with voters, the ones who put us here.)
Gillard number crunchers are undaunted by Operation Brisbane Spring. They think Rudd's caucus score sheet, as of yesterday, stood between 29 and 34 ''Yes'' votes. Gillard's, in the high 60s.
Camp Rudd says 40 votes for Rudd, 40 plus votes for Gillard and 20 cowering in the middle, undecided, or yet to declare.
But right now, the caucus numbers don't feel like they are breaking Rudd's way. Crates of French bubbles are not being dispatched to Rudd central. Momentum seems to be running in the wrong direction.
Rudd, despite BlackBerry-friendly pit stops in Dallas and any other port with 4G wireless to be located between the United States and Brisbane - is out of the country at precisely the wrong time.
Camp Gillard is banking that tactical advantage, and collecting the interest. Rudd still hasn't confirmed he's standing in Monday's ballot. He certainly hasn't matched Gillard's pledge of peace in the event of a loss.
And there are days to go in this extraordinary leadership contest, this struggle for the soul of the Labor party - the epic personality battle that produces a torrent of words, but manages somehow to eclipse rational description.
This is, after all, Kevin Rudd. No-one counts Rudd out.
Not entirely.
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