Here's wishing Hef much happiness, but as for Kim and Kanye ...
Hugh Hefner has finally married Crystal Harris on New Year's Eve. Photo: Reuters
I COULD talk about the economy, the way our ridiculous politicians delayed tough decisions after months of useless posturing, or something else equally depressing. But it's the new year, it's summer in Canberra, and there is something much more important, and interesting to discuss. Hugh Hefner's marriage.
On New Year's Eve, the 86-year-old founder of Playboy magazine, who has done nothing other than sit home in his pyjamas and date beautiful young women in the last decade or so, married his 26-year-old love, Crystal Harris. The same Ms Harris abandoned Hef at the altar in 2011, but now she's back, and she's pulled the trigger in a pretty pink dress.
You're probably expecting me to cast harsh judgment on this ridiculous union. To accuse Ms Harris of being a gold-digger, and poke fun at an old man desperately seeking to keep one bony hand gripped around that most elusive of commodities, life, even if it means international humiliation. All of that is true - but I say they are perfectly valid reasons for getting hitched.
Let's be honest. Crystal Harris won't be winning a Nobel prize in physics. This is probably her best shot at securing a decent financial future. And from all reports, Hef is a decent guy, assuming you like pyjamas. She walked away once before, but came back, so clearly she cares about him, or the money ran out. It really doesn't matter.
As for Hef - no justification needed. If I'm 86, single, rich, and a beautiful woman wants to be with me and let me hold her hand, or do whatever else I can manage at that age, then I really don't need to finish this sentence. You can't take it with you - remember that, next time you're judging.
Will it last, you ask? I think there's an excellent chance they'll stay married until Hugh leaves us. And I genuinely wish them happiness. If I'm so filled with new year's love and generosity, then why does the thought of Kim Kardashian having Kanye West's baby seem so … ugly? I'll tell you why. I'm a parent, and I know how hard it is. I also know how important it is for a young child to have a sense of consistency in their life. All the kids books will tell you, children really need routine, stability and attention. Does anyone want to bet me Kim and Kanye will still be a couple next time Santa visits? I didn't think so.
I believe people like Hugh Hefner have lessons to teach us. He's embraced life, and challenged accepted norms his whole adult life, often at the risk of ridicule. Sure, he's done stupid things, but I'm guessing it didn't feel stupid at the time, and it never mattered what others thought.
Compare that with Kim and Kanye, who crave nothing more than the love and acceptance of strangers. Life is about living and pursuing happiness, whether the world approves or not.
Tim is a writer, TV producer and proud former Canberra resident who has lived in Los Angeles since 1997.