Heckler on The Word
Heckler
Why is the word 'no' so difficult to understand?
Heckler WHAT part of ''I am deliberately avoiding eye contact'' do you choose not to understand?
Heckler
Word to the wise, if that's OK
Heckler I WANT to change the English language - well, the use of it - but I'm going to need your help and your consensus to do it. Are you prepared to try? Yes or no?
Heckler
Anti-football rants out of line and date
Heckler OF COURSE I realise Michael Carlton is exaggerating for comic effect in his attempt to bait me and others with his anti-football rant in the paper last Saturday.
Heckler
I must have died and gone to the VIP lounge
Heckler I DO love a pub that proudly boasts a VIP lounge on its signage.
Heckler
Early start to heading off catastrophes
Heckler A sign outside the local beautician's alerting us we only had eight weeks to get waxed before Santa prompts rash decision.
Heckler
Clear air turbulence in row 47
Heckler I approached my seat on the return flight from Singapore pleased to see a petite lady occupying the one adjacent.
Heckler
And, still the truth goes up in smoke
Heckler IN THREE weeks' time, cigarette inspectors will start patrolling stores to make sure shelves are lined with drab green boxes.
Heckler
Limiting my contact with Australian bugbears
Heckler AFTER moving to the US six weeks ago, the list of things I miss about Australia would fill this entire newspaper. Far easier then, to talk about the things I don't miss.
Heckler
50 shades of excuses to avoid reading
Heckler THE inaugural Bad Mothers Book Club was held last week, the first selected text being Fifty Shades of Grey.
Heckler
Men, stand up for your right to sit
Heckler WE COME in all age groups: young, middle-aged, senior. We are baby-nursing, child-minding or half of a partnership. We want to be happy. We want our female better halves to be very happy.
Heckler
Modern post issues in a modern land
Heckler ''I'D LIKE to send this parcel by registered post, please.''
Heckler
Seize the day by all means, but don't grab
Heckler I'VE always taught my children not to grab; that grabbing is rude. This has become increasingly difficult since the word has taken off.
Heckler
It's so sad - sorry seems to be the easiest word
Heckler WHY do people constantly apologise to me? If I dash across a road in front of a car, chances are the driver will wind down the window and shout ''Sorry''.
Heckler
Just answer the question
Heckler TWO words, two tiny, loaded English words, are rapidly becoming obsolete. Two important words treading the path of extinction are on my barometer for declining standards in civilisation.
Heckler
Dissecting a problem
Heckler "Don't eat the whole elephant at once!" I was saying. "Maybe think about …" Dividing? No, that's not the word I want, but it's something like that.
Heckler
English for dummies
Heckler Living abroad for more than a decade, I have observed with voyeuristic fascination the creeping bastardisation of the English language in Australia.
Heckler
Please don't talk around the subject
Heckler CALL out the word police. Our language is under attack, again. This latest spree of linguistic violence is by the people that want to talk to us ''around'' things.
Heckler
Gillard guilty of vowel play
Heckler I used to envy that game on television where the chocolate wheel was spun by an eager contestant. The hope was the click-clacking sound would stop at some fantastic prize or large sum of money and...
Heckler
Closer look at the data
Heckler AM I missing something? Has someone declared that the word ''data'' is a collective noun rather than the plural form of datum?
Heckler
Bad spelling gives us the schitzels
Heckler DOESN'T anyone give a schitzel about spelling? Wot gets up my knows? It's the lack of care people take with spelling.
