Heckler

Hoping to hear silent night this Christmas

Heckler CHRISTMAS has a distinct resonance in our house. In other homes, the festive season might be accompanied by the sound of Jingle Bells or the comforting noise of cooking from the kitchen.

Heckler

'Tis the season not to shop for Christmas

Heckler DEPENDING upon which particular bit of the globe you spent your childhood years you are likely to have firm associations with Christmas festivities.

Heckler

Sharp as a Christmas card lawyer

Heckler Take a breather and imagine what product would need this: on the back, in small print, is: ''CAUTION: product contains removable objects which are not suitable for children under three years of age.

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Heckler

No worries? Now there's some hot air

Heckler CHRISTMAS 2011, with a house full of family, guests and pets, and an expired vacuum cleaner, we enjoyed the domestic bliss of shopping for a new machine, and were delighted to purchase a super-duper,...

Heckler

Medication complication a bitter pill

Heckler PICTURE two nights before Christmas 1990. A hot, dry summer in Sydney, a dearth of organ donors and a 50-year-old professor connected to a pump that, with the aid of helium and very skilful medical...

Heckler

Darling, you shouldn't have - really

Heckler AN EMERGENCY Bad Mothers meeting was held last night. The minutes follow:

Heckler

Something fishy about Yule appeals

Heckler It's that time of year again, the merry season, when my husband has more followers than Jesus.

Heckler

My birthday limbo could become hell

Heckler BEING born four days before Christmas is a truly inconvenient event in the lives of a population which is focused on shopping, pudding, and holidays.

Heckler

Marriage cash dash is just trashy

Heckler AN INVITATION arrived recently to attend an interstate wedding. A lovely young couple who've been living together for about five years.

Heckler

Early start to heading off catastrophes

Heckler A sign outside the local beautician's alerting us we only had eight weeks to get waxed before Santa prompts rash decision.

Heckler

Why is the word 'no' so difficult to understand?

Heckler WHAT part of ''I am deliberately avoiding eye contact'' do you choose not to understand?

Heckler

This is our space, so give it back

Heckler ABOUT a year ago, I started to notice the ''temporary'' functions marquee at the north-east corner of the Opera House forecourt wasn't temporary any more.

Heckler

Wrong diagnosis was gout of the blue

The Heckler I WAS recently diagnosed with gout. The foot felt sore on Christmas Eve. It wasn't better by December 29 so off I hobbled to the medical centre. The doctor took one look at my foot.

Heckler

School day rort is just not fine

Heckler THERE is nothing I hate more than seeing my hard-earned dollars wasted. I love to spend, I love to give, but wasting money is something I detest.

Heckler

Toddlers all dressed up in their shrilling best

Heckler EVERY now and then someone of considerable rank in the fashion industry tells us that the more effort we put into our outfits, the happier we'll be.

Heckler

Honey in hair, bee in bonnet

Heckler I BELIEVE city driving should be banned. And brass plaques listing the names of dead aldermen … and bathrooms without steam extractors … and formalin-tasting gelato made with saccharin...

Heckler

It was either T. rex or the coq au vin

Heckler ONCE again, dinosaurs rule the living room. It's all thanks to Claude, a five-year-old nephew from Paris, who has been caught in the thrall of giant creatures with unpronounceable names. With

Heckler

Modern post issues in a modern land

Heckler ''I'D LIKE to send this parcel by registered post, please.''

Heckler

Mary had a wittle lamb, full of iron

Heckler ''I'LL have the steak, thank you, medium rare. No, not the tuna steak, the beef steak.

Heckler

Seeing the light after 40 years

Heckler FOR years I have been buying my husband shirts he never wears. He always complained they were too loud. I thought it was just that he prefers khaki.