Knights of the Rudd Table say they're not tilting at windmills
Illustration: Rocco Fazzari
The Scourge of the Denialists continues in the House of Representatives.
Kevin Rudd and his Army of Believers rode forth in formation, as is now their routine in question time, finding and smiting Climate Unbelievers on the Opposition benches.
At the prow of the attack was Rudd himself (freshly charged after a morning spent launching a Bungendore wind farm, where the unusually still conditions were more than compensated for by the organisers' foresight in inviting an internationally-recognised source of hot air to snip the ribbon).
Greg Combet, on whose battle raiment is emblazoned the legend ''Minister Assisting the Minister for Climate Change'', was right in there where the battle was bloodiest, mercilessly reading out remarks from Opposition sceptics including Alby Schultz's observation that more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere would be very good for plants.
''Denialists! Denialists!'' hooted the Army's pillaging foot soldiers, from time to time.
(In the Senate itself, it must be said, things were more sedate. Senators tend to respond to looming deadlines by getting incredibly interested in other matters, and yesterday ''notices of motion'' included a rather unfortunate promise by the Greens senator Rachel Siewert to hold forth on the topic of ''World Toilet Day'')
In the House of Representatives, ministers lined up at the dispatch box to receive Dorothy Dix questions with all the reverence of holy warriors accepting communion wafers: Can the Treasurer explain how climate change will affect the economy? Will the Health Minister outline the impact of climate change on health?
Disappointingly, this pattern was discontinued before we had a chance to hear how climate change is going to bugger up competition policy, or elite sport.
But you get the idea.
''They are in complete denial of the impact on the environment,'' sniffed the Great Believer, a single holy shaft of sunlight glinting off his lustrous silver helmet.
Yup - the Prime Minister seems pretty riled up about this denialist caper. If there's one thing the PM really can't stomach, it's a person who continues to deny something despite convincing logical, historical, or scientific evidence to the contrary.
Imagine how cross the PM would be - just imagine - if he ever took his eyes off the climate change sceptics for long enough to notice the biggest denialist in the House of Representatives.
Ooooh, this guy would just make the Prime Minister see red.
Imagine: There is in the Australian Parliament a Denialist so deluded, a misanthrope so misguided, a scoffer so soft-headed that he yesterday described the past month's frolics aboard the Oceanic Viking as ''non-extraordinary''.
A Denialist so shameless that he can stare barefacedly back at electors and his parliamentary opponents and deny, again and again and again, that a bunch of Sri Lankans currently being processed in record-fast time in Indonesia are not in receipt of any ''special deal''.
This Denialist also insists, in the face of all reasonable theories of human behaviour, that being nicer to asylum seekers does not in any way encourage more of them to come.
Just imagine if Kevin Rudd ever got his hands on this Denialist. Now that would be a match-up.