Hello, my name is Troy Thompson. You may remember me as the footballer that wore the skull cap and spent a lot of time on the bench or the prop that had massive shorts that looked like I was smuggling two wombats down the back of them.
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It's been six years since I've done this column and it's great to be back talking about the real facts in the game.
What a crazy year of footy and to see the two teams I played for face-off in the 2016 prelim is enough to get Barnaby Joyce kicked out of Mooseheads in pants down excitement.
Saturday night is going to be a cracker, the best attack in the game going up against the best defence.
Both teams are in rare form and to have Hodgo and Austin back from injury the Raiders are in the box seat to be heading to GF next weekend.
Seeing Hodgo and Austin being interviewed last week I thought they were no chance of playing against Penrifff as Austin's hand looked like Sherman Clump's hand from the Nutty Professor and Hodgo was walking like Verbal Kint out of Usual Suspects. Good to see the Raiders Lime still doing the trick.
The key match-up on Saturday will be the battle of the hookers. There hasn't been a battle like this since 1979 when Tracy and Charmaine went toe-to-toe for the rights to walk the corner on Darlinghurst Rd at Kings Cross.
This is where the game will be won or lost, two of the best hookers in our modern game.
Cameron Smith has the body of an accountant but is in the best form of his career, he controls the game like no other and is one of the best footballers I've played with.
Dally M favourite Josh Hodgson is also in the best form of his career and his presence on the field will surely lift the lads in the booger green jerseys.
Canberra Raiders have had the wood on Melbourne for the past few years, also beating them at AAMI Park numerous times is a huge bonus.
It's also great to see the Wipertech (windscreen wiper company) sponsoring the Melbourne Storm coaches box. Wipers have been fitted to the inside of the Storm's box as there is sure to be spit and food coming out of Craig Bellamy's mouth from screaming instructions to his bench.
One thing is for sure is that he'll have the boys ready to go and firing. As for Sticky, I just had word from AAMI Park that all chairs have been fixed to the ground with dyno-bolts so there will be no kicks to the chairs in frustration.
The other match-up I was looking forward to seeing is big Shannon Boyd and big Nelson Solomona, these guys have been eating way too much non-RSPCA approved chicken. How big are these guys!!
Apparently Nelson is out with an elbow injury after hitting on the West Gate Bridge driving home from training last week. Anyhow, can't wait to see Big Boydy take on the Storm pack.
I think having the week off isn't a bonus for some teams, it will be interesting to see how the Storm start the game as it takes a little while to get back in the groove.
Fingers crossed the game won't be decided by two points – both kickers have been striking the ball well but I did see Crokes give away his lucky kicking boots last week after the game.
You can relax though Raiders fans, as quality sources close to me saw Crokes in the carpark trying to trade them back from the boy for a pair of Dunlop KT26's.
This game should have been the grand final next week, anyway strap on your beer dispenser hats filled with XXXX Gold shandies and get full on 2 kilograms of cabana sausages, this is going to be one of the best games all year.
Thanks for having me Canberra, fingers crossed you won't be reading my dribble again for another six years.
Troy Thompson is a former Canberra Raiders and Melbourne Storm forward and coach of the 2016 Canberra Raiders Cup champion West Belconnen Warriors.
