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Stars make a hash of Twitter - except 'Poey'

Date

Dan Palmer

Palmed Off

<i>Illustration: Andrew Dyson.</i>

Illustration: Andrew Dyson.

I don’t care about your new haircut, I don’t care what you ate for dinner or with whom, and I certainly don’t care for the inspirational quote of the day you have copied and pasted from your iPhone app.

But, this does not seem to be common opinion. Maybe I am behind the times.

If you follow many sporting personalities on twitter you subject yourself to this rubbish on a daily basis.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that there are people like David Pocock for example who promote extremely worthy causes and use the direct access to the public to great benefit, and do genuine good with the status and resources they are fortunate to have as professional athletes. 

Let me make it clear that these are not the people I am referring to.

It seems to me that the majority of personalities who engage in this form of social media aren’t in David’s boat, and use it as a vehicle to further inflate their own tyres and continue to perpetuate what is already an extremely self-indulgent profession.

If you are over the age of 10 and you have an invisible friend - let's be honest - you tend to pay a social price. 

Yet, many of these social media nobodies have over 100,000 so-called friends and no one seems to bat an eyelid.

One of the great benefits of having imaginary friends is that for the most part, they are free. There is no need to buy gifts for pseudo-friends - you don’t even need to feed them. They are essentially, free of charge.

I have recently learnt that this is sometimes not the case. Apparently it is not uncommon for Tweeters to purchase followers. You can buy yourself 100,000 imaginary friends for around $500, or if you want to be really popular you could get yourself 1 million friends for around $4000! What a bargain!

Direct access to personalities from all walks of life is without doubt enticing.

I do wonder, however, what state we are living in when a chubby nullity like Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, a reality TV personality in the U.S, attracts over 6.2m followers, yet great thinkers of our time and genuine contributors to society like Lawrence Krauss, or even Christopher Hitchens in his day, would not reach capacity at Canberra Stadium with their number of followers worldwide.

To me this is bizarre.

‘Snooki’ has recently enlightened 6.2m people around the world that she ‘hates sleeping on planes’ and that ‘when she yawns, it feels like she is a lion roaring’.

This knowledge must put everyone’s mind at rest. I for one will sleep better knowing this.

Looking at this whole Twitter thing, the big winner in my opinion is probably the ‘hash’.

Pre-twitter, the hash was simply a button on a phone. Not anymore - the hashtag is now the glue that connects people the world over.

No one can argue that Twitter has certainly increased the status of egotistical and insecure people, but even with all its faults, it has also undoubtedly increased the standing of what was, for a long time, nothing more than a useless button on a telephone.

24 comments so far

  • Not sure about your hashtag theory - I miss the older days when # meant 'number'!

    Commenter
    Mick
    Location
    London
    Date and time
    February 28, 2013, 11:33PM
    • It's not bizarre mate, look at how many people follow soccer.

      The smart people are outnumbered by the dumb in our world.

      And get a haircut, I know you aren't brushing it, but that is altogether too much hair for a frontrower.

      Commenter
      piru
      Location
      Perth via Rakaia
      Date and time
      March 01, 2013, 12:27AM
      • @ piru

        Taliking about (sort of) hair-cuts...what is with Ma'a Nonu and his apparent inability to shave his face. He seems to take great chunks out of his eyebrows and sometimes the side of his head ? This seems to me to be quiet dangerous when using a razor.
        Do you think he needs a mirror...maybe that would help ? Or is it that he can't find a mirrow BIG enough ?
        Any help on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

        Commenter
        Machooka
        Location
        inner west sydney
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 1:11PM
      • No, I think he just goes to his mates 'how does it look?' and they are all too afraid to say it looks mental.

        Big Jonah had the same problem while he was rocking the fringe and shaved head look back in the day, no one was prepared to say 'Jonah, you look daft'.

        Commenter
        piru
        Location
        Perth via Rakaia
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 2:33PM
      • @ piru

        Yeah....thanks.You're probably right on that one !

        With Jonah, interestingly, I thought it more or less lke it was 'a bit' he'd missed and no-one was friggin brave enough to tell him.

        Commenter
        Machooka
        Location
        inner west sydney
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 4:27PM
    • Finding society a bit bizarre, are we?

      Well, blame your bloviating buddies Krauss and Hitchens for continuing the calamity that is the systematic replacement of Judeo-Christianity with vulgar, introspective secularism; there's barely an area left untouched, unsullied by this harrowing event -- it seems that art, music, science, morals and manners have all suffered... (to say nothing of the performance of the Wallabies since the Christians Farr-Jones and Eales retired). Yep, it seems quality of tweets is the least of our worries.

      And why would you "care" about anything anyway, Dan, when you're nothing but an organic robot whose "thoughts" are just epiphenomena resulting from predetermined brain chemistry?

      Under your paradigm, you've no objective foundation whatsoever. You're rather standing on an absurd, nihilistic, relativistic nothingness. That's right, the blind, pitiless cosmos makes no distinction whatsoever between the supreme inanity of Snooki and your artful, thoughtful scrummaging.

      What! You've never considered any of this? Oh.
      .
      Ahh, the conceited, yet forever feisty and "caring" atheist is a very bemusing entity indeed.

      P.S Enjoy your little sojourn in France while you can. They're, of course, about 20 years advanced from us in their slide towards secular oblivion. Adieu.

      Commenter
      Pete
      Date and time
      March 01, 2013, 2:16AM
      • @ Pete

        Wow....them some beans !

        I believe your ability to breath, think, compose and write are....simply, somewhat breath-taking. Further, your passion for damnation of the author surely borders on religiose zeal.
        Maybe a little lie down or nap is in order ?

        Commenter
        Machooka
        Location
        inner west sydney
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 11:27AM
      • Pete, read my above post re dumb people.

        Using big words where they don't fit doesn't make you look smart.

        Quite the opposite in fact.

        Naff off

        Commenter
        piru
        Location
        Perth via Rakaia
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 11:53AM
      • I always have a good chuckle when Christians (who believe they were created in God's image and will live forever), label Atheists (who believe they are nothing more than a cosmic coincidence with a very limited lifespan) as "conceited".

        Commenter
        J B
        Location
        Sydney
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 12:31PM
      • I was trying to figure out what got Pete's rosary in a knot, and it seems to be that one brief mention of Chris Hitchens.

        Hitchens was a great man who fought injustice whenever he came across it, of course that put him in the bad books with some religious groups who believe they have some sort of right to discriminate against certain groups.

        He is famous for his quik wit and incredible intellect, look up 'The Hitch-Slap' if you want to see examples of him putting idiots in their place.

        Commenter
        piru
        Location
        Perth via Rakaia
        Date and time
        March 01, 2013, 3:01PM

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