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Shining a light on depression's dark grip

Date

Megan Doherty

Carrie Rathbone talking about the impact of her then husband Clyde's depression.

Carrie Rathbone talking about the impact of her then husband Clyde's depression. Photo: Melissa Adams

Carrie Rathbone wore herself out trying for years to deal with her then husband Clyde's depression - years in which he ''truly believed'' he was not affected by the disease.

The now re-signed Brumbies star has talked publicly about the fact his depression led him to being suicidal, and that was the tipping point for his wife to also seek out the advice of a psychologist and finally open up to family and friends about their private battle.

''It was not until Clyde's depression worsened to the point where our lives were at risk that I got the wake-up call I needed and sought help and support,'' she said.

The Rathbones divorced earlier this year and both are in much better places after he sought professional help for his illness. They have a relationship ''built on acceptance and respect'', she says. They have each turned a corner.

''I applaud his bravery in discussing his battle with depression, and am proud of his decision to return to the rugby field. I'll be expecting a few tries next season,'' she said.

Ms Rathbone, 32, has decided to speak publicly about her experience of living with a person suffering from depression at a Lifeline Canberra event on Friday to help others find the courage to seek professional help - both the sufferer of the disease and those who become collateral damage.

She suspected Clyde was suffering from depression soon after their wedding in 2005 but it was another seven years before he acknowledged it. His wife left the relationship in May 2011, leading him to put a searingly personal post on his Facebook page earlier this year seeking her return. He also finally started talking about the depression that had dogged him since childhood due to emotional abuse by a trusted adult.

Ms Rathbone said she wished she had sought help earlier, saying those years were lived in a daze, her confidence eroded. She felt overwhelmed. For three years she believed her husband would ''snap out'' of the depression. She became bitter and disillusioned as she tried to keep things in check by removing any potential obstacle or stress from Clyde's life.

''I felt a failure, in every attempt, to get through to Clyde and slowly withdrew completely to avoid confrontation,'' she said.

Ms Rathbone says people living with someone with depression need to seek help from bodies such as Lifeline. Society needs to keep talking about mental illness and continue to chip away at the stigma. ''Over the past year I have undergone training in crisis management and counselling, and am comfortable discussing my experience with anyone who may be helped by sharing. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have overcome these difficulties, and recognise my responsibility to reach out to others who are in this situation,'' she said.

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Rugby World Cup 2015

Round 1
Sat, 19 SepTimes shown AEST
ENG -1vs FJI -1 05:00Twic
TGA 0vs GEO 0 21:00Kholm
IRE 0vs CAN 0 23:30MilS
Sun, 20 SepTimes shown AEST
SAF 0vs JPN 0 01:45Brig
FRA 0vs ITA 0 05:00Twic
SAM 0vs USA 0 21:00Brig
WAL 0vs URU 0 23:30MilS
Mon, 21 SepTimes shown AEST
NZL 0vs ARG 0 01:45Wemb
Wed, 23 SepTimes shown AEST
SCO 0vs JPN 0 23:30Kholm
Thu, 24 SepTimes shown AEST
AUS 0vs FJI 0 01:45MilS
FRA 0vs ROM 0 05:00The Stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
Fri, 25 SepTimes shown AEST
NZL 0vs NAM 0 05:00The Stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
Sat, 26 SepTimes shown AEST
ARG 0vs GEO 0 01:45Kholm
ITA 0vs CAN 0 23:30Ella
Sun, 27 SepTimes shown AEST
SAF 0vs SAM 0 01:45Villa
ENG 0vs WAL 0 05:00Twic
AUS 0vs URU 0 21:00Villa
SCO 0vs USA 0 23:30Ella
Mon, 28 SepTimes shown AEST
IRE 0vs ROM 0 01:45Wemb
Wed, 30 SepTimes shown AEST
TGA 0vs NAM 0 01:45Sand
Fri, 02 OctTimes shown AEST
WAL 0vs FJI 0 01:45MilS
FRA 0vs CAN 0 05:00stadium:mk
Sat, 03 OctTimes shown AEST
NZL 0vs GEO 0 05:00MilS
SAM 0vs JPN 0 23:30stadium:mk
Sun, 04 OctTimes shown AEST
SAF 0vs SCO 0 01:45St James' Park
ENG 0vs AUS 0 06:00Twic
Mon, 05 OctTimes shown AEDT
ARG 0vs TGA 0 00:30KPS
IRE 0vs ITA 0 02:45The Stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
Wed, 07 OctTimes shown AEDT
CAN 0vs ROM 0 02:45KPS
FJI 0vs URU 0 06:00stadium:mk
Thu, 08 OctTimes shown AEDT
SAF 0vs USA 0 02:45The Stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
NAM 0vs GEO 0 06:00Sand
Sat, 10 OctTimes shown AEDT
NZL 0vs TGA 0 06:00St James' Park
Sun, 11 OctTimes shown AEDT
SAM 0vs SCO 0 00:30St James' Park
AUS 0vs WAL 0 02:45Twic
ENG 0vs URU 0 06:00Manch
ARG 0vs NAM 0 22:00KPS
Mon, 12 OctTimes shown AEDT
ITA 0vs ROM 0 00:30Sand
FRA 0vs IRE 0 02:45MilS
USA 0vs JPN 0 06:00Kholm
View All Fixtures
Round 2
Sun, 18 OctTimes shown AEDT
WinB 0vs RUpA 0 02:00Twic
WinC 0vs RUpD 0 06:00MilS
WinD 0vs RUpC 0 23:00MilS
Mon, 19 OctTimes shown AEDT
WinA 0vs RUpB 0 02:00Twic
Sun, 25 OctTimes shown AEDT
WQF1 0vs WQF2 0 02:00Twic
Mon, 26 OctTimes shown AEDT
WQF3 0vs WQF4 0 03:00Twic
Sat, 31 OctTimes shown AEDT
LSF1 0vs LSF2 0 07:00The Stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
Sun, 01 NovTimes shown AEDT
WSF1 0vs WSF2 0 03:00Twic
View All Fixtures
Rugby World Cup 2015
Overall standings
Team P W L D +/- Pts
France 0 0 0 0 0 0
New Zealand 0 0 0 0 0 0
Canada 0 0 0 0 0 0
Tonga 0 0 0 0 0 0
Japan 0 0 0 0 0 0
View all
Rugby World Cup 2015
Overall standings
Team P W L D +/- Pts
Romania 0 0 0 0 0 0
Argentina 0 0 0 0 0 0
England 0 0 0 0 0 0
Georgia 0 0 0 0 0 0
Scotland 0 0 0 0 0 0
View all
Rugby World Cup 2015
Overall standings
Team P W L D +/- Pts
Australia 0 0 0 0 0 0
USA 0 0 0 0 0 0
Italy 0 0 0 0 0 0
Ireland 0 0 0 0 0 0
View all
Rugby World Cup 2015
Overall standings
Team P W L D +/- Pts
Fiji 0 0 0 0 0 0
Samoa 0 0 0 0 0 0
Namibia 0 0 0 0 0 0
South Africa 0 0 0 0 0 0
Wales 0 0 0 0 0 0
View all
 

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