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Shining a light on depression's dark grip


Megan Doherty

Carrie Rathbone talking about the impact of her then husband Clyde's depression.

Carrie Rathbone talking about the impact of her then husband Clyde's depression. Photo: Melissa Adams

Carrie Rathbone wore herself out trying for years to deal with her then husband Clyde's depression - years in which he ''truly believed'' he was not affected by the disease.

The now re-signed Brumbies star has talked publicly about the fact his depression led him to being suicidal, and that was the tipping point for his wife to also seek out the advice of a psychologist and finally open up to family and friends about their private battle.

''It was not until Clyde's depression worsened to the point where our lives were at risk that I got the wake-up call I needed and sought help and support,'' she said.

The Rathbones divorced earlier this year and both are in much better places after he sought professional help for his illness. They have a relationship ''built on acceptance and respect'', she says. They have each turned a corner.

''I applaud his bravery in discussing his battle with depression, and am proud of his decision to return to the rugby field. I'll be expecting a few tries next season,'' she said.

Ms Rathbone, 32, has decided to speak publicly about her experience of living with a person suffering from depression at a Lifeline Canberra event on Friday to help others find the courage to seek professional help - both the sufferer of the disease and those who become collateral damage.

She suspected Clyde was suffering from depression soon after their wedding in 2005 but it was another seven years before he acknowledged it. His wife left the relationship in May 2011, leading him to put a searingly personal post on his Facebook page earlier this year seeking her return. He also finally started talking about the depression that had dogged him since childhood due to emotional abuse by a trusted adult.

Ms Rathbone said she wished she had sought help earlier, saying those years were lived in a daze, her confidence eroded. She felt overwhelmed. For three years she believed her husband would ''snap out'' of the depression. She became bitter and disillusioned as she tried to keep things in check by removing any potential obstacle or stress from Clyde's life.

''I felt a failure, in every attempt, to get through to Clyde and slowly withdrew completely to avoid confrontation,'' she said.

Ms Rathbone says people living with someone with depression need to seek help from bodies such as Lifeline. Society needs to keep talking about mental illness and continue to chip away at the stigma. ''Over the past year I have undergone training in crisis management and counselling, and am comfortable discussing my experience with anyone who may be helped by sharing. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have overcome these difficulties, and recognise my responsibility to reach out to others who are in this situation,'' she said.

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Rugby World Cup 2015

Round 1
Sat, 19 SepTimes shown AEST
ENG 35vs FJI 11 Report Stats
TGA 10vs GEO 17 Report Stats
IRE 50vs CAN 7 Report Stats
Sun, 20 SepTimes shown AEST
SAF 32vs JPN 34 Report Stats
FRA 32vs ITA 10 Report Stats
SAM 25vs USA 16 Report Stats
WAL 54vs URU 9 Report Stats
Mon, 21 SepTimes shown AEST
NZL 26vs ARG 16 Report Stats
Wed, 23 SepTimes shown AEST
SCO 45vs JPN 10 Report Stats
Thu, 24 SepTimes shown AEST
AUS 28vs FJI 13 Report Stats
FRA 38vs ROM 11 Report Stats
Fri, 25 SepTimes shown AEST
NZL 58vs NAM 14 Report Stats
Sat, 26 SepTimes shown AEST
ARG 54vs GEO 9 Report Stats
ITA 23vs CAN 18 Report Stats
Sun, 27 SepTimes shown AEST
SAF 46vs SAM 6 Report Stats
ENG 25vs WAL 28 Report Stats
AUS 65vs URU 3 Report Stats
SCO 39vs USA 16 Report Stats
Mon, 28 SepTimes shown AEST
IRE 44vs ROM 10 Report Stats
Wed, 30 SepTimes shown AEST
TGA 35vs NAM 21 Report Stats
Fri, 02 OctTimes shown AEST
WAL 23vs FJI 13 Report Stats
FRA 41vs CAN 18 Report Stats
Sat, 03 OctTimes shown AEST
NZL 43vs GEO 10 Report Stats
SAM 5vs JPN 26 Report Stats
Sun, 04 OctTimes shown AEST
SAF 34vs SCO 16 Report Stats
ENG 13vs AUS 33 Report Stats
Mon, 05 OctTimes shown AEDT
ARG 45vs TGA 16 Report Stats
IRE 16vs ITA 9 Report Stats
Wed, 07 OctTimes shown AEDT
CAN 15vs ROM 17 Report Stats
FJI 47vs URU 15 Report Stats
Thu, 08 OctTimes shown AEDT
SAF 19vs USA 0 Stats
NAM 0vs GEO 0 06:00Sand
Sat, 10 OctTimes shown AEDT
NZL 0vs TGA 0 06:00St James' Park
Sun, 11 OctTimes shown AEDT
SAM 0vs SCO 0 00:30St James' Park
AUS 0vs WAL 0 02:45Twic
ENG 0vs URU 0 06:00Manch
ARG 0vs NAM 0 22:00Leicester City Stadium
Mon, 12 OctTimes shown AEDT
ITA 0vs ROM 0 00:30Sand
FRA 0vs IRE 0 02:45MilS
USA 0vs JPN 0 06:00Kholm
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Round 2
Sun, 18 OctTimes shown AEDT
WinB 0vs RUpA 0 02:00Twic
WinC 0vs RUpD 0 06:00MilS
WinD 0vs RUpC 0 23:00MilS
Mon, 19 OctTimes shown AEDT
WinA 0vs RUpB 0 02:00Twic
Sun, 25 OctTimes shown AEDT
WQF1 0vs WQF2 0 02:00Twic
Mon, 26 OctTimes shown AEDT
WQF3 0vs WQF4 0 03:00Twic
Sat, 31 OctTimes shown AEDT
LSF1 0vs LSF2 0 07:00The Stadium, Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park
Sun, 01 NovTimes shown AEDT
WSF1 0vs WSF2 0 03:00Twic
View All Fixtures
Rugby World Cup 2015
Team P W L D +/- Pts
Australia 3 3 0 0 97 13
Wales 3 3 0 0 58 13
England 3 1 2 0 1 6
Fiji 4 1 3 0 -17 5
Uruguay 3 0 3 0 -139 0
View all
Rugby World Cup 2015
Team P W L D +/- Pts
South Africa 3 2 1 0 56 11
Scotland 3 2 1 0 40 10
Japan 3 2 1 0 -12 8
Samoa 3 1 2 0 -52 4
USA 2 0 2 0 -32 0
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Rugby World Cup 2015
Team P W L D +/- Pts
New Zealand 3 3 0 0 87 14
Argentina 3 2 1 0 64 10
Tonga 3 1 2 0 -22 6
Georgia 3 1 2 0 -71 4
Namibia 2 0 2 0 -58 0
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Rugby World Cup 2015
Team P W L D +/- Pts
Ireland 3 3 0 0 84 14
France 3 3 0 0 72 14
Italy 3 1 2 0 -24 5
Romania 3 1 2 0 -59 4
Canada 4 0 4 0 -73 2
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