Ricky Ponting gives Michael Clarke a nipple-cripple.
According to Socrates "the unexamined life is not worth living for a human being".
Were the great philosopher alive today, he could very well have added "...and the over-examined life is of little interest to all who do not share that particular life".
There are 52 sleeps before Christmas which means bookshops are gearing up for the inevitable avalanche of celebrity memoirs, and former Aussie cricket captain Ricky Ponting has stolen the march on the others this year.
Portrait of Gabrielle d'Estrées and Duchess of Villars, c.1594.
Sadly for his publisher, the "startling" revelation of his ill-feelings towards current skipper Michael Clarke failed to excite the public, feeling more like a nipple-cripple than genuine titillation.
Even then he faces a daunting task, for the world already has a much-loved nipple-pinch.
It's a painting that hangs in Paris’ Louvre museum that depicts Henry IV's mistress being affectionately tweaked by her sister.