The agony Australian captain Meg Lanning endured while carrying her busted shoulder through the World Cup and during the recovery of her subsequent reconstructive surgery was nothing compared to the emotional pain that stemmed from her last international match.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
That was the World Cup semi-final against India, which ended Australia's attempted defence of the trophy, when the limitations of her non-functioning right shoulder and the pressure she put on herself to still perform came to a head.
Lanning was dismissed for a rare international duck by Jhulan Goswami, the victim of an unplayable delivery from the Indian quick that clipped the top of her stumps.
She hasn't taken the field for Australia since, and has had more than seven months to stew on the dismissal and the unexpected result of that match before this month's tour of India, for which Lanning and her teammates departed on Saturday.
"Given that was the last cricket game that I've played in, it has been difficult to move on and worry about other things," Lanning told Fairfax Media.
"I am looking forward to getting that first game out of the way and erasing those memories, I guess, because it was an extremely disappointing way to finish and I don't think it's a game you'll ever forget unfortunately - some games stick with you more than others.
"The fact that I haven't been able to play since probably makes it a bit more difficult to let it go."
India won that match by 36 runs and went on to lose the final at Lord's against England.
Soon after, Lanning flew back with her teammates. Within weeks she had gone under the knife and was in the early stages of a painfully slow six-to-eight month recovery.
During that period, Australia retained the Ashes as Lanning watched on, and the entire domestic summer passed under her irritated gaze.
All the while the captain-in-waiting was diligently undertaking her rehabilitation, going through the sleepless nights that follow a shoulder reconstruction, then the tedious process of rebuilding the muscle in her right shoulder, which had atrophied into near nothingness.
"You can't do a lot either, you're in the sling and you can't really do much, so that was a frustrating time," Lanning said.
"Once you get through that phase and you can start moving your arm and doing stuff, it gives you something to work towards.
"It's a very slow process, nothing seems to happen quickly and it's surprising how stiff the joint gets. It takes a long time to get the range of movement back. That period is quite difficult because you sort of need to try and force it a little bit to try and get it back.
"That wasn't a lot of fun to be honest, but once you get past that point it can happen a little bit quicker. When someone said to me it would be six to eight months, I didn't really believe them, but once you get into the process you understand how it's so slow.
"There wasn't much muscle there after that period of not using it and it takes a long time to get it back. It'll take 12 to 18 months to really fully get everything back to the other side, it's a long process, it's an ongoing thing that I'll have to keep working at but it's in a pretty good spot now, I'm pretty confident with it."
Lanning plans to play every match for Australia on their tour of India, including the opener next Monday, where she'll finally get a chance to exorcise her World Cup demons.
She will resume the captaincy and her place at the top of the batting order, although will be limited in the field as she was at the World Cup, still forced to throw underarm.
"Once the rehab's all done then it shouldn't be a problem moving forward," Lanning said.
"It's a good challenge [playing in India], there are a number of things - adjusting to the culture and the different environment.
"Then obviously on the field the conditions are a little bit different as well. There's quite a few people in our squad who have played over there a number of times before and are comfortable over there.
"I've always found it a great place to play cricket. The wickets do turn a little bit, maybe a little bit slower but the outfields are lightning quick and once you get through the field it's generally a boundary. I've enjoyed my time over there previously."
Lanning will see a few new faces in the side from the one that travelled to England for the World Cup.
NSW talent Nicola Carey will tour, as will Victorian Sophie Molineux. They replace the retired Alex Blackwell from the World Cup squad, plus veteran duo Kristen Beams and Sarah Aley.
