There's a fragility to Sally Shipard she rarely lets people see.
Beyond the bubbly surface, an eccentric personality and a flamboyant hairstyle is a girl fighting demons deep inside.
Publicly she's a Canberra United and Australian Matildas soccer star, but few know her private battle.
On the eve of United's W-League grand final, Shipard has opened up about the eating disorder she has wrestled with for a decade.
She hopes her story and struggle inspires others to get help.
The pressure of maintaining an athletic image took its toll on Shipard when she rocketed into the Australian team as a 16-year-old.
Now 24, she still feels uneasy revealing the full details of her growth from a teenage prodigy playing at the Athens Olympics.
At times she's embarrassed and scared, but she calls it her ''mountain'' and she's determined to conquer it.
''I intend on getting on top of it one day, but I'm going to enjoy this journey as much as I can,'' Shipard said.
''Everyone has their battles, this is mine. I want to let people know you can get help.
''It's uncomfortable, it's confronting, you feel exposed and vulnerable ... from the outside I looked happy and stable.
''But I had this battle I felt I couldn't share with anyone and that was hard.''
To fully understand why Shipard will feel a sense of belonging when she runs on to McKellar Park tomorrow hoping to lift United to victory over the Brisbane Roar, you have understand how she got there.
She's been in representative soccer programs since she was a junior and exploded on the international stage with sparkling performances for the Matildas at the Athens Olympics in 2004.
Despite being just 16, Shipard was already a star. Life seemed perfect.
But internally Shipard was fighting a problem she didn't know how to fix. Her mind was fixated on being skinny and fit so her career could continue to get better.
But her life was changed by a ''vicious cycle of bingeing and purging''.
The first time she tried to make herself sick was at the Olympics.
During her darkest times, breakfast would be her only meal of the day and even that would come back up.
She was skin and bones and injury prone because her body didn't have the power to recover.
It wasn't until Matildas coach Tom Sermanni called her into a private meeting in South Korea that Shipard finally faced her demons.
Even then Shipard was dismissive. She knew she was unwell, but blamed soccer for her problems.
She agreed to get help. But for almost 18 months she hid her illness, telling her coaches and family she was fine.
The reality was inside she was a mess as she tried to make sense of what was happening.
So she made the only decision she thought was logical - she quit.
Shipard ran away from the game for two years. She escaped to Europe, working in pubs and living in hostels.
She tried to run away from her eating disorder and find a place where she didn't have to live up to the pressure and high expectations she set as a teenager.
''All of my friends said that it took strength for me to walk away,'' Shipard said. ''But to me, it was the easiest ... I was running away.
''Because I played so well at that first Olympics I thought I was never good enough, I always wanted to be better.''
It was sitting alone, atop Ben Nevis, the highest peak in the British Isles, that Shipard decided not to hide anymore.
''I thought I was sick because of football, because of the demands and the image of being an athlete.
''But football is my passion. Wherever I went, my mind and eating disorder were with me, but I'm not letting it get in the way of football.''
She feels at home on the soccer field. The excitement and hype of a grand final is bubbling inside her and she gets a ''natural high'' from the camaraderie with her teammates.
It wasn't until she returned to Australia in 2009 she began to deal with her struggle.
She meets with sports psychologist Sally Hughson almost every week to talk about her eating disorder.
Shipard credits Hughson and her family - dad Col, mum Lynne and brothers Will and Matt - with helping her to get back on track.
Shipard has a tattoo of a rose on her right calf to, inked during her European escape. The rose is now a symbol of her ongoing recovery.
She admits she's still trying to find answers, but at least life is heading in the right direction.
There are still mornings when she counts calories - ''but it's not the first thing I think of and I can't begin to explain how amazing that is.
''My life is amazing, but these are some of the things I have to face and battle with, but I know I will overcome it.
''I wouldn't do anything differently, I wouldn't change anything. I'm getting stronger all the time. I'm still finding answers and I want people to know they can get help.
''You're not on your own, you find strength in sharing with people even though it's complicated and doesn't make sense.''
And despite everything, Shipard says she has no regrets.
''I'm becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin.
''[Sports psychologist] Sal reckons there will come a point in a few years that these thoughts won't even cross my mind and I won't even know. I can't wait for that day.''
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