This may well be the last Benign to Five ever.
As you light a candle and bring your spontaneous weeping under control, let me thank you for your continued readership and your patience; I know my gross overuse of adjectives and my incessant, unexplained shift from one alter ego to another (sometimes mid-column) would have been trying.
I pass on this gratitude quite sincerely, which I know will be confusing for anyone who's read the column for any substantial length of time. Also sincere is this request: write to me.
You see, while Benign to Five has come to an end, I'm still putting together an article every week. But instead of lambasting modern business language and regaling you with stories about my time working as the vomit-cleaner-upper and acting chief financial officer of Smorgy’s in Burwood, I'll be responding to emails and letters in the form of an advice column.
Yes, I'm becoming a workplace agony aunt and, let's be honest: it's going to be spectacular.
But only if you get involved.
Just as with Benign to Five, I will be, without exception, on your side. So, in some cases the scorn and sarcasm you've come to love will remain, but it will be directed at those who cause you anguish and anxiety in your office or on your worksite.
Having said that, you don't need to write to me only about vexing matters. You might also like to ask for my recommendation on whether it's best to buy just one desk stoat or two. Or on the subject of the French Situationists who said "Ne travaillez jamais" - never work.
Whatever your question may be, you can send it to me at email@example.com
Thanks again for reading Benign to Five.