John Birmingham | Canberra Times
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John Birmingham is a columnist for the Brisbane Times. He is also an award winning magazine writer and the author of Leviathan, the Unauthorised Biography of Sydney, which won the National Award for Non-Fiction. He amuses himself in his down time by writing novels which improve with altitude.

Why my bucket habit does not sustain me any more

Why my bucket habit does not sustain me any more

No, not that sort of bucket. This other bucket came later, after marriage and children and the decline in my readily available funds.

  • by John Birmingham

Latest

Gents, this is our last pocket of resistance in the face of lady pants
Opinion

Gents, this is our last pocket of resistance in the face of lady pants

Heaven forfend that we should ever find ourselves thronged and overrun by some emboldened harpy with pocket room to spare.

  • by John Birmingham
I didn't know Andrew McGahan well. But I knew his Brisbane
Opinion

I didn't know Andrew McGahan well. But I knew his Brisbane

You didn’t just read Andrew's debut novel, Praise. It read you. Opened you up and turned you inside out, spilling all your secrets.

  • by John Birmingham
Soon you'll be working like a furloughed US civil servant too
Opinion

Soon you'll be working like a furloughed US civil servant too

You're not about to wake up working for an orange horror clown in America. I’m thinking more about the disappearance of reliable, full-time jobs and careers.

  • by John Birmingham
Is your bulging Netflix list bringing you joy?
Opinion

Is your bulging Netflix list bringing you joy?

I think I need Marie Kondo to clean up my Netflix stack, which is full of unwatched Marie Kondo.

  • by John Birmingham
We have bigger fish to fry than Morrison's Australia Day pantomime
Opinion

We have bigger fish to fry than Morrison's Australia Day pantomime

The Murray-Darling river basin is a long way from Queensland, but the problems of the Murray-Darling are not.

  • by John Birmingham
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'Twas the week before Christmas, and I hated it
Opinion

'Twas the week before Christmas, and I hated it

I look at the rapidly diminishing number of days before Christmas and I know it’s a mathematical impossibility to get it all done.

  • by John Birmingham
My office Christmas party nightmare
Opinion

My office Christmas party nightmare

I have failed at Christmas Party 101. My carefully washed and expensively groomed buttocks remained disappointingly un-photocopied, un-scanned and un-emailed to the new management team.

  • by John Birmingham
Under His Eye, that's no way to dress
Opinion

Under His Eye, that's no way to dress

Patricia Karvelas has let herself down. She’s let the Republic of Gilead down. It was an affront to all that is decent.

  • by John Birmingham
'Ye gods, mad hound. Slow down'
Opinion

'Ye gods, mad hound. Slow down'

She is an old dog, this labrador of mine, cloudy of eye and infirm of gait but her glorious explosion of ill-advised energy was magnificent.

  • by John Birmingham
Lime scooters left you sour? Go suck a lemon
Opinion

Lime scooters left you sour? Go suck a lemon

The electric-scooter backlash has started but I look forward to a new Golden Age of YouTube videos of old ladies being skittled like bowling pins.

  • by John Birmingham