John Birmingham | Canberra Times
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John Birmingham is a columnist and blogger for the Brisbane Times. He is also an award winning magazine writer and the author of Leviathan, the Unauthorised Biography of Sydney, which won the National Award for Non-Fiction. He amuses himself in his down time by writing novels which improve with altitude.

Sorry Apple, but the sweet smell of 6S is enough for me
Opinion

Sorry Apple, but the sweet smell of 6S is enough for me

I have had a horrible realisation. I don’t need a new iPhone. But it’s worse than that. I don’t need a new phone of any sort.

  • by John Birmingham

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Arm yourselves, for magpie swooping season is here
Opinion

Arm yourselves, for magpie swooping season is here

We have sensible gun laws for a reason, but that in no way diminishes my need for a shotgun right now.

  • by John Birmingham
My Uber rating shows I am a much better person than you
Opinion

My Uber rating shows I am a much better person than you

I have a 4.95-star rating as a passenger on Uber and the average is something a bit higher than 4.5, but surely not as high as 4.95, which I have, so look upon my arbitrarily determined near perfect valuation, ye mighty, and despair.

  • by John Birmingham
The blatant, in-your-face scam that's catching us all
Opinion

The blatant, in-your-face scam that's catching us all

Ever travel? Then you'd be a victim of the hotel pre-authorisation scam.

  • by John Birmingham
Where's Wooley? Here he is, telling the internet to get off his lawn
Opinion

Where's Wooley? Here he is, telling the internet to get off his lawn

I’d completely forgotten about his creepy-uncle 60 Minutes interview with the Kiwi PM until he reminded us all about it by shouting at clouds.

  • by John Birmingham
This use of 'slut' is offensive? You must be yolking

This use of 'slut' is offensive? You must be yolking

It took four lawyers to argue ASIC's case that 'slut' is too offensive for business, even if you add eggs.

  • by John Birmingham
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Confessions of an author who barely reads books any more
Opinion

Confessions of an author who barely reads books any more

I admit, I'd forgotten how it felt to be hooked on a page-turner - as in, turning paper pages of an actual book.

  • by John Birmingham
'Sky News After Dark': A digital Nuremberg Rally
Opinion

'Sky News After Dark': A digital Nuremberg Rally

Blair Cottrell’s appearance was not a mistake, or an aberration. It was a perfectly routine part of Sky’s business model.

  • by John Birmingham
Just not cricket: The hypocrisy behind Angela Williamson's sacking
Opinion

Just not cricket: The hypocrisy behind Angela Williamson's sacking

Cricket Australia’s got some explaining to do. And probably a hefty damages bill to pay out when Angela Williamson’s lawyers have finished paddling them with a Gray Nicolls Viper.

  • by John Birmingham
Why I'm glad I didn't grow up with social media
Opinion

Why I'm glad I didn't grow up with social media

If, like me, you passed through that stage of life without being recorded and uploaded to the cloud, you’ll probably never know just how lucky you were.

  • by John Birmingham
Eight alternative uses for Elon Musk’s Tiny Submarine
Opinion

Eight alternative uses for Elon Musk’s Tiny Submarine

I believe in Supermusk and I love his Tiny Submarine™ and I have been hard at work thinking of other ways he could save us with this delightful submersible.

  • by John Birmingham