Kisses, catfights and a secret kid: The Bachelor episode to end them all
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Kisses, catfights and a secret kid: The Bachelor episode to end them all

Wednesday night’s episode of The Bachelor, the third in the new season starring Nick "Honey Badger" Cummins was billed as the one that "has it all" and we don't mean to overstate things, but Network Ten was not lying.

The episode kicks off with excruciating scenes in which Cass, 23, thought she was about to get handed a single date card, when in fact Port Macquarie woman Brittany turned out to be the lucky lady.

If you're following the show, you'll know Cass is practically in love with Cummins already (they had something of a dalliance before the show started) and she seemed truly crestfallen when Brittany's name was called out.

Brittany, on the other hand, was thrilled - and her date with Cummins went accordingly. They played a bit of footgolf first (it's a real sport, who knew?) and then they trotted off for the usual couch-and-convo segment of the date.

Eventually, they ended up in the pool ... where Brittany received a rose and the first real kiss of the season. (Romy's effort last week absolutely does not count.)

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The next portion of the show revolved around the group date, which saw the bachelorettes face off in a competition in order to win one-on-one time with Cummins.

Brittany scored the first real kiss of the season.

Brittany scored the first real kiss of the season.

Photo: Network Ten

Cat, 25, came to win and she wasn't afraid to let everyone know about it. "I reckon it's gonna get competitive AF today and I am definitely a very competitive person," she said in a piece-to-camera. "You don't want to go up against me."

Unfortunately for Cat, she was beaten by Vanessa Sunshine, the bachelorette who happens to grind her gears the most. Of course Cat didn't mind because in her eyes it meant the Bachelor would finally be exposed to Vanessa's "shitty personality".

"To be honest if I was going to lose to anyone, Vanessa Sunshine would have been my pick," Cat said to no one in particular. "She's just boring, she's so vain - she thinks her shit doesn’t stink. I was just excited for him to see her shitty personality."

Alrighty, then.

When it came for Vanessa's victory date, it's fair to say it was the least romantic five minutes of television in history. Vanessa didn't exactly come out guns blazing with that personality of hers. Scratch that - she barely uttered a word.

Cummins realised he was facing an uphill battle with the 27-year-old Victorian when she told him she doesn't find dad jokes funny. "Basically 94 per cent of my arsenal has now been wiped out and I’ll have to dig deep and find something better,” he said.

He didn't and the date did not get any better. We'll eat our proverbial hats if Vanessa's still there by the end of next week.

Later, frontrunner Brooke, 23, used the key she won on night one to steal some alone time with Cummins.

She hand-delivered him a basket of breakfast foods so they could picnic on his bed inside the Bachelor pad - and when he opened the door, whoops, he happened to be shirtless and wearing only his Wallabies rugby shorts.

Brooke, from WA, was next to lock lips with the Bachelor.

Brooke, from WA, was next to lock lips with the Bachelor.

Photo: Network Ten

We know these guys have a spark and nothing changed in Wednesday's episode - in fact, their attraction seems to have deepened.

During a quick game of rugby outside, Cummins and Brooke shared their first kiss together, and afterwards, Brooke opened up to him about losing her mum at a young age. It was certainly the most touching moment of the season so far; an emotional connection like this will likely bode well for the pair.

Speaking of touching: at the cocktail party, Russian personal trainer Dasha revealed to Cummins that she has a son named Leon, who is five.

The news went down remarkably easily considering children are a rather large factor to consider in any new relationship, and later in the episode, Dasha was the first woman to receive a rose from the Bachelor.

Dasha revealed she has a five-year-old son, and soon after received a rose from the Bachelor.

Dasha revealed she has a five-year-old son, and soon after received a rose from the Bachelor.

Photo: Network Ten

Then, finally, it was Cass' turn for a chat with Cummins. The poor woman's crush on the guy is all-consuming and almost painful to watch in action.

"At the end of all this, I do want Nick to pick me," she says to the camera. "We're definitely on a deeper level. We both play rugby, he plays ukulele and I play guitar. There were just so many moments from the first time I met him ... There was this connection and this spark and he's always been that one person that I see and I get butterflies."

She then proceeded to read notes from her diary to Cummins, to finally tell him everything she's wanted to say since she met him. She goes all in, and details her instant attraction to him, how much she loved getting to know him before the show, and how happy she is that he's the Bachelor.

It was a lot, and Cummins reacted as much, though he did try to handle her clearly strong feelings as graciously as possible. They hug (no kiss, though) and Cass is proud as punch.

Cummins looked a little nervous after hearing Cass' words.

Cummins looked a little nervous after hearing Cass' words.

Photo: Network Ten

Towards the end of the episode, Shannon got Cat offside when she called her out for the harsh way she speaks about everyone - it did not go down well, and it's safe to say there's no love lost between the pair.

The mic drop of the night? That came from energy healer Cayla, who took Cummins aside and in no uncertain terms told him to watch out for Cat and Romy, whom she believes are not on the show for genuine reasons. It was her parting shot: she'd been eliminated just moments before, along with Kayla and Christina.

Talk about making a dramatic exit.

Cayla didn't mince words on her way out.

Cayla didn't mince words on her way out.

Photo: Network Ten

The Bachelor airs at 7:30 p.m. on Wednesdays and Thursdays on Network Ten.