I’ve found mine. A pair of suede Mary Jane like shoes with a good heel, Basque’s Sunday, if you’re really interested. I love them. They might be nothing more than a black seude pump but when I wear them they make me feel rather exotic, a little sexy, one of those women who manages to be flirty and smart at the same time. They make me feel like the woman I like to delusionally believe I am every now and again.

But then I only have to look at the rest of my shoe collection to bring me crumbling to my knees. I have more shoes that lace up than ones than don’t. I have more flats than heels. I have shoes from 15 years ago. Shoes I have bought from Vinnies for less than $5. All up I probably only have a dozen pairs so you could hardly even call it a collection.

I’ve never understood the lure of shoes. I’ve got friends who have whole cupboards full of shoes, specially built sections in their walk-in robes, I even know of one woman who has shoes in storage, away from her home, she has that many, and she rotates them seasonally, and knows where particular pairs are if she wants to team them with a certain outfit.

To me shoes are like cars. Something to get you from A to B in comfort. I don’t need a Porsche when my Mazda will do the job sufficiently well.

My daughter often chastises me over my shoe choices, telling me I need to wear more heels. I never did, even at her age. I think my first pair of high shoes were for my year 12 formal, they would have been court shoes, possibly white. Even the shoes I wore for my wedding were ones I’d recycled from my sister’s wedding, covering them with white material.

I’ve watched her and her friends head off to formals and parties wearing high heels and short dresses, watched them stumble in, like young giraffes as they perch precariously on heels that could kill.

And speaking of shoes that can kill, I’ve never got over the scene in Single White Female where Hedy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) kills Ally’s (Bridget Fonda) boyfriend with her stiletto. Go watch it now and maybe you too will think about shoes as I do.

But as much as I don’t get shoes, I’m quite quick to judge shoes. It was great fun at the National Gallery of Australia back in January when I joined the nude tour of Hyper Real. We were all in the buff, but had to wear shoes for safety reasons. And there I am in turn looking up at Patricia Piccinini’s The Breathing Room and down at the shoes of fellow art lovers. What did their shoe choice, knowing they would eventually be naked, say about them?

It appears you can tell a lot about a person from their shoes.

Yes, I’ve consulted Men’s Health again - they must be in my Google algorithm somewhere now - but a 2012 study from the University of Kansas found that people are able to accurately judge 90 per cent of a stranger’s personality, including their emotional stability, simply by looking at their most worn pair of shoes.

Apparently “agreeable” people tended to wear “practical, functional” shoes, while “aggressive” personalities had an affinity for ankle boots.

But the research goes even further. Women in revealing high-heeled sandals are more likely to be confident naked than women in closed-toe heels. I wish I could remember who was wearing what at Hyper Real.

I loved Julie Bishop’s sparkling Wizard of Oz red heels she sported the other day, and much has been written about those. Women sporting brightly colored shoes tend to be more playful, according to this research, bigger risk takers, and more extroverted, a little more challenging. All reasons why we love Julie. Where can we buy them?

And speaking of Oz, when you think of the shoe’s place in popular culture there are lots of references. You knew it was going to be okay for Carrie and Big in Sex and the City when he built her that wardrobe. Cinderella and the glass slipper. Wonder Woman's knee-high boots. Audrey Hepburn’s ballet flats. From Forrest Gump’s Nike runners to Maxwell Smart’s shoe phone, there’s something to be said for all these choices.

But me, I’m more of a kick your heels off kind of girl, and if the shoe fits...