You know those car people? Rev-heads. Engine obsessed. Would-be Daniel Ricciardo's dreaming of that straight stretch of road where they're free to thrust their foot on the accelerator.
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I'm not one of them. Never have been, never will be.
I'm a cautious, even reluctant, driver. Or a really bad one, if you ask any of my friends who sat white knuckled in the passenger seat as I swerved around Adelaide soon after I received my licence.
I don't have a need for speed. I have a need to arrive at my destination on time, preferably a little earlier. My car doesn't have a name. It's not my pride and joy. Four wheels and a engine. That's all.
So when news of Maserati's arrival in Canberra landed in my editor's inbox, of course I'm the one tasked with covering the launch.
I hesitated, even tried to palm of the assignment to an actual car person. It didn't work. I'm driving a Maserati whether I like it or not. The perks of the job, hey.
The brand's Phillip dealership is sparkling, as are each of the cars on show. I'm in the presence of luxury. Look impressed, I tell myself, and for heavens sake don't scratch anything.
I'm given the keys to a Levante 350, a slick model SUV which has just rolled off the production line. It's the most "accessible" car Maserati has ever offered in Australia. Translation, it's the cheapest. It'll set you back $125,000.
I hop into the car, settling in to the leather-bound seat and fitting my hands to the steering wheel. It's comfy. We're not in mum's old Honda Jazz anymore, Toto.
As we merge into traffic, I assume my natural driving position. Hunched forward. Hands tightly gripping the wheel. Vigilant.
"You drive like such a grandma," my considerably more relaxed colleague tells me.
The Maserati rep supervising my joy ride encourages me to test the car's capacity. I think that means I'm supposed to go faster. So I do - sort of. The car accelerates effortlessly. 60, 70, 80. A trip down the Tuggeranong Parkway never felt so good.
As we double-back towards the dealership, our rep switches the car from automatic to "sport mode". I'm urged to rapidly shift up gears; to "fire up" the engine. I do and it does, but only briefly and clearly not to the satisfaction of my passengers.
"So, what do you think," the rep asks, as I gently pull into the Melrose Drive dealership.
The car is, truly, quite something. It's large, yet slick and refined. The engine can roar or hardly be heard at all. There's a Maserati logo stitched into the headrest, which is impressive. There's a button to move the steering wheel up and down. That's cool.
Those Canberrans with the money to spend on a luxury car are in for a treat.
And for me? Sorry, I'm just not a car person. Never have been, never will be. I'll stick to mum's old Honda Jazz.
See you on the road!
