If there was ever a doubt that Malcolm Turnbull is unfit to govern, the horror-clown circus of the past 24 hours settles the matter.
This bumbling coward needs to remove himself from the public realm for all time.
It is not because he opposes a simple and human recasting of the Marriage Act to bring it into line with current realities and the opinion of three out of four Australians.
It is because this spineless wuss tool serves no interest or agenda beyond prolonging the end-of-life suffering of what could laughingly be called his government, only if your idea of laughs was pulling the wings off butterflies.
Tony Abbott would make a better prime minister because on this issue – as on pretty much everything – he would be wrong, but he would be wrong with sincere conviction.
Beating him like a jug-eared stepchild would actually mean something because he would genuinely stand up for the cruel and unusual prejudices of the backassward culture Nazis who just can't let this happen, even as they insist nobody cares about it.
In one sense and only one sense the Dark Ages rearguard is right. There are more important things to legislate than marriage equality.
But that is an argument for settling the matter with a free parliamentary vote which would take a few minutes.
Not for tortuously drawing out the process via the expensive, pointless and ultimately irrelevant delaying tactic of a nonbinding postal plebiscite.
For $100 million we might as well just have a national day of lighting each other's farts.
The ominous sign for the coalition isn't that they recommitted themselves to an unsustainable policy on marriage equality. It's that they cooked up such such a gigantic pot of bubbling ass casserole in doing so. This is a governing party which cannot govern itself.
It is fundamentally riven between warring factions who despise and fear each other with much greater animus than they hold for their nominal opponents in the Labor Party.
Gay and lesbian citizens who want nothing more than equal treatment before the law are being held as hostages in this conflict because Turnbull himself is hostage to crackpot obsessions of a hyper-conservative rump.
They should just put the knife in him now. They're going to eventually. It would clarify our politics.
John Birmingham is a columnist and blogger for the Brisbane Times. He is also an award winning magazine writer and the author of Leviathan, the Unauthorised Biography of Sydney, which won the National Award for Non-Fiction. He amuses himself in his down time by writing novels which improve with altitude.
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