Form 1359 was where I started to lose the plot. It was roughly the one thousand, three hundred and fifty-ninth form I had filled out, so it indicated the halfway point of this Kafkaesque fever dream otherwise known as moving back to Australia.
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Tax time's around the corner, and I'm looking forward to it because, comparatively, it will be a doddle when it comes to paperwork and tedious bureaucracy.
Silly me, when I moved back after nearly five years I wanted to bring my family too.
My son's easy enough. A few certified translations of birth and marriage certificates, a signature from a doctor and Form 118 is relatively straightforward. Once a citizenship certificate appears two weeks and $230 later, the process of applying for a passport can begin. All up, less than a grand.
This is a bargain and a breeze compared to my wife, who applied for the dreaded 801 permanent residency for partners visa. In 75 per cent of cases they take less than 15 months. Last year the cost was "from $6865" for the privilege of putting our lives on hold for a year or so while waiting for a verdict. All told, it was more like 10 grand and 10 months. My son learnt to walk, squawk and swim without me and my wife had a 30th birthday without me.
One of the cheapest parts of the procedure was a clearance from the Royal Thai Police Force to say neither my wife or I were wanted criminals. This was $8 each, and we got to have our photos and fingerprints taken at the headquarters.
Essays were written on the history of our relationship. Not that either of us can remember much about when we first met; we met in high school and each went off and had other flings for more than a decade.
In the meantime, there’s the matter of starting again in Australia. New job, new driver’s licence, new car, new phone number, find a place to rent, get the power turned on, connect the internet, remember there’s such a thing as Medicare and get a card sent to me, and organise four kinds of insurance.
Which brings me back to Form 1359, the Department of Immigration and Border Protection’s Request for International Movement Records. This is to avoid being hit with a 4 per cent lifetime loading on health insurance, since I’ve been out of the country. Naturally, another certified copy of my passport is needed, and I’ve run out. I’ve run out, too, of patience with those who say it should be harder to get into the country.
Michael Ruffles is a Herald journalist.
