In my wistful daydreams my fantasy that our prime minister is New Zealand's Jacinda Ardern has been temporarily replaced by the similarly feminist dream that our leader is Megan Rapinoe. Ms Rapinoe is the dashing, politically-bristling, Trump-scorning captain of the all-conquering USA women's football team.
On to the pulse-quickening international moral example being set by Rapinoe in just a moment.
Meanwhile, my shy conviction that I have far higher moral-ethical standards than my prime minister's has just been reinforced by his unctuous acceptance of an invitation to a state dinner in his honour at Trump's White House.
Badly flawed as I am, there are some things even I won't do. Donald ''grab 'em by the pussy'' Trump could invite this columnist to dinner till he was blue in the face (that blue replacing the usual tan-tangerine of his sunbed-faked complexion) but I wouldn't accept.
He is an awful human being and to accept his invitations (especially to accept them with the tail-wagging rapture the prime minister and his government have accepted the "honour" of this particular one) is to somehow endorse his awfulness. Ms Rapinoe knows this in her bones and so as early as June said that she had no intention of accepting any invitation to go to the "f***ing White House" when and if her team became world champions.
Already there is available an "I'm not going to the f***ing White House" Rapinoe T-shirt. I have been quick to buy one for myself, thinking it $37 well spent.
Rapinoe has since apologised for her spontaneous CNN-interview f-bomb, while reiterating her feelings that "I don't think anyone on the team has any interest in lending the platform that we've worked so hard to build, and the things that we fight for, and the way that we live our life ... I don't think that we want that to be co-opted or corrupted by ... being put on display by ... this administration."
Our politicians and press are gurgling that Trump's invitation to Morrison is such an "honour" but those of us with moral compasses struggle to understand how an invitation from someone so disgusting (the plausible E. Jean Carroll has just become the 24th woman to publicly allege sexual assault against her by Trump) can ever be an honour. Isn't it, really, more of an affront?
Young journalists are trumpeting that the "rare honour" Trump is extending to Morrison is so rare that no Australian PM has been given it since president George W. Bush honoured prime minister John Howard in this way. They are too young, these whippersnappers, to know just how demeaningly, stomach-turningly awful (for Australian patriots who dream of their nation being characterful, independent, young and free) the Bush/Howard relationship was. The description of Howard's behaviour as "arse-licking" leapt to many minds although thankfully most Australians (one exception was the uncouth but astute and outspoken Mark Latham) kept this thought to themselves.
Those were stomach-turning times. Now, with ScoMo similarly beguiled by the attentions of A Leader Of The Free World (albeit this time a pussy-grabbing one) and with stomach-turning times ahead, it is time again for Australian patriots to stock up on figurative Kwells.*
Aren't Christians funny? Thinking atheists will wonder how it is that Scott Morrison, so publicly a Christian, can be so enthusiastically fond of a man, Trump, God and Jesus must despise for a galaxy of good reasons. Would Jesus party with Trump? No. But what are Christians for, if not to live their lives in active imitation of Christ?
In Proverbs (a book of the Bible that pentecostal ScoMo surely knows by heart) we find spelled out the seven things that God hates in a person. All seven are Trumpian hallmarks. One thing He, God, hates is "a lying tongue". Well, by June 7 this year (the latest date we have) the fact checker of The Washington Post calculated that "the president has made 10,796 false or misleading claims".
What can a true, professing Christian possibly admire about Trump? Wouldn't a good Christian's flesh creep to shake hands with Trump? Is today's Australian version of All The Way With LBJ a similarly fawning We Kiss The Rump Of Donald Trump?
Will Scomo's acceptance of this proposed "honour" see, to echo Ms Rapinoe, our nation "co-opted" by the Trump government? What will Trump, a dealmonger, expect of an Australian prime minister he, Trump, has left besotted and bedazzled by this splash of presidential flattery?
* A time-honoured Aussie remedy for stomach upheavals