It is unfortunate the only reason this has cut through the way it has is because of the level of violence shown, the unspeakably horrible way in which the children and their mother, Hannah, died, and the relatively high profiles of both parents.

Rowan Baxter, the suspected perpetrator who also took his own life, was a well-known football player. Hannah Baxter (nee Clarke) was a successful trainer and gymnast.

They were not what many people would consider to be either a likely perpetrator, or victim of, domestic violence.

And there's the rub. There are no stereotypes. Domestic violence cuts across all income levels, social classes and demographics. It is also endemic in our society.

For every high profile case such as this, Luke Batty in Victoria, Bradyn Dillon in the ACT, Tara Brown and Karina Lock, thousands go unreported.

The statistics are staggering. On average at least one woman a week in Australia is murdered by her partner or former partner.

Almost 40 per cent of women have suffered domestic violence at the hands of a partner or former partner in the period immediately after separation.

Women are also at high risk of domestic violence during the period when they are trying to get free of an abusive or controlling partner.

It is also generally accepted abusive partners will frequently threaten to carry out acts of violence against their own children in order to make a reluctant partner stay in a toxic relationship.

A massive 71 per cent of deaths of children who have been in contact with the child protection system involved acts of domestic violence.

And, last but not least, Indigenous women and children are at an even greater risk of harm from their partners or parents than the community generally. Indigenous women are 32 times more likely to be hospitalised as a result of domestic violence as non indigenous.

Has it always been this bad? Yes, apparently so. How did it come to be this way? While that's a much harder question to answer it's blindingly obvious that community attitudes must be a major contributing factor.

There needs to be a massive readjustment in the way some men think about their children and their partners. They are not chattels.

We need to support people in abusive relationships and we need to show zero tolerance to anybody who threatens domestic violence.

This week's tragedy is definitely a "wake up Australia" moment. Even if we aren't part of the problem per se, this is still our problem and a blight and a shame on our society and way of life.

Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, struck the right note when he called on Australians to "just look at each other and give thanks for each other" in the wake of the Wednesday attack.

Local MP, Joe Kelly, put it even better when he said: "We have to change our attitudes and culture... we have to make sure we treat people with respect and (that) relationships are based on collaboration, not control".

Television presenter, Julia Baird, put it best when, in response to suggestions women were at least partly to blame for abuse directed against them, she wrote in 2015: "Here's an idea; men could just stop punching women".

Domestic violence is not acceptable. It won't stop until we, as a society, commit to making that happen.