As the kids start to head back to school, one way or the other, many families are starting to see the beginning of the new normal, or hopefully we can call it the in-the-meantime normal, until things get back to the way they were before all this.
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I'd like to think there are many things we have learned over these past few months of disruption we can take forward into our reshaped lives. For as much as people have complained, and been drained, by the change in circumstance, surely if we don't look for the good things to come out of it, what have we learned?
It's been interesting to see families thrust into completely new arrangements, parents working from home, children learning online, reduced access to family and friends, having more time on their hands than they've probably had since the children were born.
And a lot of people aren't coping all that well. I've heard first-hand accounts of parents working well into the night once the kids have gone to bed to get their paid work done. Indeed I've heard stories from people saying their employers firmly encouraged such practices because they didn't want to see any drop in productivity. I've watched video clips online of women from around the world saying they're functioning at about 50 per cent. Not able to parent nor work from home with any effectiveness, full of anxiety and fear.
That hasn't been me. I know a lot of that has to do with the age of my children, but nevertheless this time has allowed me to take stock of what is actually important in family life. Whatever stage you're at. I hope you realise some of these things too.
Dinner time
Family dinners are important. And whether your family is your partner and children, or your flatmates, whatever arrangement, coming together around a table at the end of a day is a special thing. A time to sit and talk and enjoy a meal, regardless of whether that meal is takeaway from Akiba, or based on the sourdough bread you've been baking from scratch. And yes, we all know family dinners with children can be fraught with danger. But how nice is that glass of wine and sliver of cheese you might share on the lounge once the blighters are in bed.
Just do it
You might be a gym rat, or a yoga fan, but it's been fun riding bikes with the kids, playing frisbee in the park, walking the dog together, hasn't it? Or just wrestling in the backyard. Or doing PE with Joe. Being an active role model for your children is important. Think of all the opportunities you've had to do that. Rethink your gym membership.
School's in
I bet you know your child's teacher's name now, don't you? I bet you know what level reader they're up to, or how advanced the maths they are doing is, or how hard it is to wrangle just one child who's not interested. Imagine having to do that for 30 kids, five days a week. If there's one thing I hope families will take from this is that they'll value the job of teachers more than they ever did. That they'll no longer complain about the carers who look after their babies and toddlers in daycare. It's a privilege to be able to access education and childcare. I hope we all realise this now.
Stay at home
I'm going to generalise here. Because statistics back up my generalisation. I hope all those fathers who have been working from home will never again ask their partners "so what did you do all day?" Yep. She did all that. And she does it all if she's working from home on a part-time basis too. And, let's face it, she does all that while she's working full-time in the office too.
Me time
But for as much as you've enjoyed (or not) being with the kids, I hope you've realised how important it is to carve time out for yourself as well. Whether it is that glass of wine and cheese on the couch while you binge watch Tiger King. Or a walk on your own, or a bath, or a book. After all this you do deserve it. Be kind to yourself.
Boring
My 17-year-old told me the other day it was my job to entertain him. Not. I hope your kids have been really bored. And you've let them be bored. And not tried to entertain them every minute of the day. Boredom is good for everyone. And it's nothing to feel guilty about. A bored child is an imaginative child. And have you been bored too? Of course you have. And that's good for you too.
Schedule that in
How fabulous has it been not to be rushing around? No more rugby training, or violin lessons, or ballet, no more lost hours in the car after school, ferrying them around to everything you have them doing so they won't be bored. It's not that we've had more time at home, it's just that we've had less time away doing other stuff. And it's been nice, hasn't it? What has your child shown interest in during this time? Maybe that's what you should be looking at.