She could have kept her two baby girls at home in Brisbane while her husband Dan McKellar brushed an offer to coach a club rugby side and went back to selling orthopedic implants.

So why didn't she?

"It was something he always wanted to do," Carla said.

Ten years later McKellar sits on the cusp of history as the coach prepares to lead the ACT Brumbies into a Super Rugby AU grand final at Canberra Stadium on Saturday.

But before he walks out the front door on game day 11-year-old Maya will come running with tips on how to stop an in-form Queensland Reds outfit. Carla and 13-year-old Amelie won't be far behind - McKellar laughs they're giving him pointers "all the time".

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"They ride the highs and lows with me. The dining room table conversation often relates to selection or tactics. It's nice because I know it's as important to them as it is to me," McKellar said.

"They'll point things out, Carla in particular, and more times than not she is right. It's not around tactics or who I'm picking, it's just around making sure my headspace is where it needs to be and I'm getting away from rugby and Brumbies where I can, making sure I've got balance in my life.

"The other thing is just being able to come home and park it and discuss what their days have looked like. It allows me to have balance."

So often the focus is drawn to the coach. He is the man behind the team. Yet here in their Chapman home, with pets Lucy and Flopsy by their side, we have the team behind the man.

They are McKellar's why. Coaching upon retirement in 2006 started as a way to stay in the game. Soon enough a hobby turns into an obsession. With success, it can become a profession.

Like it did for McKellar when the Tuggeranong Vikings came calling in 2010 in search of a man to lead their John I Dent Cup program. The McKellar family was settled in Brisbane, surrounded by family and friends.

"Then to uproot and move to Canberra for me to coach at club rugby level, and coach full-time, was an incredible sacrifice," McKellar said.

"Words will never express how grateful I am. It's such a selfless act from Carla, and the girls were only babies then, to back me, support me and allow me to chase my dream.

"If Carla had said 'no I don't want to move to Canberra, I don't think it's right for us', I wouldn't be where I am. That's the reality."

But they have had to take the road less travelled en route to this weekend's grand final, a game the Brumbies are favoured to win and secure their first championship since 2004.

McKellar spent two years in Tuggeranong before jetting off to Japan in March 2013 to take a gamble on another coaching job. Carla took the girls back to Brisbane, while McKellar settled into an apartment on the 46th floor of an Osaka highrise tower.

Being away from the girls had taken its toll.

"I never want to be a coach who moves from one job to the next and jumps around. If I wasn't good enough to have success or forge a career out of it, I would have gone back to selling orthopedic implants," McKellar said.

"It's not fair on the family to be moving them around every two to three years."

McKellar typed an email to his old boss asking for his orthopedic job sale back, but before he hit send he checked his junk mail. There sat a message from Laurie Fisher, asking if he was interested in a role at the Brumbies. McKellar couldn't sign quickly enough.

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"When the second opportunity came around with the Brumbies, that was a no-brainer. We've really enjoyed it, we settled in really quickly, we have a really good community around us with school and with the Brumbies," Carla said.

"From when we first came, the Larkhams had us around at their place. You have the opportunity to sit together at games, kids have always been invited in and made to feel very much a part of what is going on, welcomed out to HQ for captains runs or family days.

"Early on they acknowledged there are a lot of people who come to Brumbies to play who aren't from Canberra, and it's so important to feel like you're supported by the people around you.

"Everyone understands what you're going through, whether you might get a bit homesick or might not enjoy the winter weather.

"People come down with young babies, girlfriends move down as well who don't know anyone in Canberra, it can be a bit daunting. It's a very down to earth group of people.

"For seven years now we've been here this time around and we are really enjoying it, but I still don't love the winter."

Challenges this year have stretched far beyond Canberra's icy winter. Players and coaches relocated to Newcastle in January to train when the capital's air quality was the worst in the world due to bushfire smoke. Players and staff got the mumps - they were pulling out on game day and the side was one breakdown away from a famous victory.

"The support we've had from all of our partners and families, words don't express how fortunate we are to have people like I've got," McKellar said.

Then came the pandemic which forced the inner sanctum into a bubble. It has kept McKellar from watching his girls play netball - but not for much longer. Although, he might need to be excused this weekend.

"I was just thinking about that actually, Sunday morning for an 8.30am game," Carla said. "I'm not sure how we'll go, but anyway, that'll be good. It'll be a late night, hopefully celebrating."

SUPER RUGBY AU GRAND FINAL

Saturday: ACT Brumbies v Queensland Reds at Canberra Stadium, 7.15pm.

Brumbies squad: 1. Scott Sio, 2. Folau Fainga'a, 3. Allan Alaalatoa (c), 4. Murray Douglas, 5. Cadeyrn Neville, 6. Lachlan McCaffrey, 7. Will Miller, 8. Pete Samu, 9. Joe Powell, 10. Noah Lolesio, 11. Tom Wright, 12. Irae Simone, 13. Tevita Kuridrani, 14. Andy Muirhead, 15. Tom Banks. Replacements: 16. Connal McInerney, 17. James Slipper, 18. Tom Ross, 19. Nick Frost, 20. Rob Valetini, 21. Nic White, 22. Bayley Kuenzle, 23. Solomone Kata.

Reds squad: 1. JP Smith, 2. Brandon Paenga-Amosa, 3. Taniela Tupou, 4. Angus Blyth, 5. Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, 6. Liam Wright (c), 7. Fraser McReight, 8. Harry Wilson, 9. Tate McDermott, 10. James O'Connor, 11. Filipo Daugunu, 12. Hamish Stewart, 13. Hunter Paisami, 14. Jordan Petaia, 15. Jock Campbell. Replacements: 16. Josh Nasser, 17. Harry Hoopert, 18. Ruan Smith, 19. Tuaina Taii Tualima, 20. Angus Scott-Young, 21. Moses Sorovi, 22. Bryce Hegarty, 23. Jack Hardy.