Wouldn't you want to get back to Australia for Christmas?
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The prospect of enchantment surrounded by gleaming white snow, Christmas trees and gluhwein pales rapidly if it's accompanied with a side of COVID-19. Now Victoria's shown that this country does seem to possess the magic ingredients needed to defeat the spread of this killer virus, it's understandable there's been a surge in people wanting to return home.
If only it were that easy. There are two issues - flights and quarantine.
It's not surprising that governments at both the state and federal level have seen their popularity soar. They took the vital action needed to keep the country safe. Then the federal government let the side down by not preparing, not even bothering to anticipate what was coming next.
Rather than leading, Scott Morrison appears to have gone absent without leave. The government should be finding ways of opening hostels that could be used to temporarily house returning Australians. Instead it seems to have gone on Christmas holidays early.
Surely some other, imaginative way can be found of boosting numbers flying to the country? Failure to do this is tantamount to a declaration that the government doesn't care about our third-largest export earner - universities. Foreign students provide a critical financial boost to this sector, and it's time to recognise that we can't just rely on hotels to provide the accommodation that's required.
A similar syndrome appears to have gripped Qantas.
The latest dataset released by the Bureau of Infrastructure and Transport Research Economics shows that between April and June, Qatar Airways flew a massive total of 95,420 passengers to and from Australia, repatriating more than the next three airlines combined. It also added special charters that brought vital protective medical equipment - as well as general freight - to the country.
During the same period Qantas only managed to fly 4373 people in and out. That was fewer than Xiamen Airlines (which managed 5077 travellers), and meant that only 1.64 percent of total flyers were carried by the so-called "national flag carrier", which ranked 16th in terms of the number of passengers transported.
Perhaps that's why the ad campaign insists the airline "still calls Australia home". It's planes remain here, siting on tarmac around the country.
Not everyone wants to stay in Australia, of course. Former finance minister Mathias Cormann is jetting around the world, courtesy of the Australian taxpayer, campaigning for a job he will never get. This government's attitude on global warming alone is enough to scuttle any chance of victory. Morrison may have managed to convince some people over here that the "jury is still out" about the effect of greenhouse gas emissions on rising temperatures; the consensus overseas, however, is very different.
Australia can't remain, intellectually and physically, cut off from the world forever.
- Nicholas Stuart is a Canberra writer and a regular columnist.