It's hard to know where to begin with this shitshow.
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That, of course, is the over-the-top expression used by an anonymous federal MP to describe a harmless dance at a shipyard in Woolloomooloo.
There are many more reasons to be concerned about the Department of Defence than a novelty performance. Defence is now in the hands of Peter Dutton (I type, sobbing quietly). Yes, our Defence Force is being moved from one unusual minister to another; from Linda Reynolds - who wasn't quite sure how to defend and support Brittany Higgins after an alleged sexual assault - to Peter Dutton. Enough said, but his latest pleasure is trying to prevent Kristina Keneally from visiting those poor bloody kids from Biloela trapped on Christmas Island. Not so fast, it turns out.
So, first of all, let's stop shaming the young women dancers from 101 Doll Squadron who performed at the formal commissioning of the Navy's newest ship. You might not think their dancing was appropriate for an event like this, but this is pretty standard for military entertainment. For example, the Dallas Cowboys' cheer squad has performed over 70 times for US defence forces. Women have been dancing for soldiers for eternity. It wouldn't be my choice of entertainment but if these young women love doing it, good luck to them. Yeah, I'd prefer them to be in overalls and learning a trade, or becoming software engineers (at least two occupations I don't have the aptitude for) but they would probably tell me to get stuffed. Also, can I suggest that next time, a few blokes in briefs would not go astray?
Anyhow, the Department of Defence is now going to be responsible for implementing part of the government's newest plan for women. Only a teensy bit, though. The main responsibility for the new National Action Plan for Women, Peace and Security will lie with the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade, and this week it was released by the government without any fanfare, in keeping with its inability to do anything about women well and communicate it clearly.
The last action plan ran out of juice nearly three years ago and this newest rendition has been sitting on Marise Payne's desk for at least 18 months. Its purpose is "to promote gender equality, protect the human rights of women and girls, and secure their full, equal and meaningful participation in peace and security processes". Glorious. Get on board!
There are some big surprises here. First, this plan will no longer be managed by the Office for Women. This is probably a good thing, since the two dozen or so people who work there now have to report to all the ministers in the special taskforce, and I have no idea how they could be managing that. However, the care and management has now been moved to DFAT, which could be good but is still under Payne - who has not shown much interest in the plight of women so far. Mind you, the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has a gazillion times the resources of the Office for Women.
The plan does not engage with Australia domestically in terms of women, peace and security. For some reason, it doesn't acknowledge Australia as a post-conflict zone (which would be a surprise to First Nations women), but maybe the government believes some other department will pick up the slack in terms of peace and security for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women. Yeah, right.
It doesn't reflect on whether the good things we do overseas in terms of aid can be applied in a domestic setting. Which seriously, after the latest round of real shitshows, would be useful.
It doesn't do a good job of connecting with civil society organisations in Australia, who do so much of this vital work and on whom the government relies for back-up (there are many mentions of "civil society", but it's more broad brush stroke than detailed framework). As far as I understand, the release of the plan was not communicated to any of the big not-for-profits in this area. It doesn't provide any framework for increasing funding to those organisations. Pretty much what you'd expect when this government deals with organisations it can't control.
Katrina Lee-Koo, associate professor at Monash University's Gender, Peace and Security Research Centre, says the move to DFAT is significant because it's well-funded and will have more clout leading a whole-of-government approach. She says DFAT has taken its responsibilities seriously with strategies for women's leadership and empowerment and in its aid work around violence against women.
"But this demonstrates it is seen as a foreign policy issue, and needs to be considered also as an Australian issue," she says.
"Any women's security and protection plan should also include refugees and asylum seekers."
Lee-Koo is broadly praising of the plan's inclusion of serious monitoring and evaluation targets, but has deeper concerns.
"We have been without a policy for some time. It is important now to connect this with Australian politics and broader efforts ... it is something we have to practise at home."
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As she puts it, we can't just pretend everything is A-OK in Australia and we are parachuting in to save women in developing and conflict-affected countries with our expertise, when we can't even do this at home.
The International Women's Development Agency's Joanna Pradela says the IWDA "is pleased to see this framework released after a delay. This framework is a critical guiding tool for the Australian government to be able to engage with the gendered nature of conflict and the importance of including women in the solutions."
And she points out that it is particularly vital as Myanmar faces deepening civil war.
"For decades, women, particularly from ethnic minorities, were at risk of sexual violence by the Tatmadaw - a well-documented tactic of the military against the population. Women know keenly that this risk is heightened for them under extended military rule," she says.
"Women, particularly women from ethnic minorities, must be part of any solution for sustainable peace."
Sally Moyle, an honorary associate professor with the ANU's Gender Institute, says there is a lot to like about the plan: "It shows the government has an ongoing commitment to women, peace and security, but I would have liked to see stronger monitoring and evaluation processes and better support for and partnerships with non-government organisatons."
So let's hope the new plan in a new home won't be a shitshow. It's time this government showed real leadership on women, or as its plan says: "promote gender equality, protect the human rights of women and girls, and secure their full, equal and meaningful participation in peace and security processes".
I'd like to see that, both at home and abroad.
- Jenna Price is a visiting fellow at the Australian National University and a regular columnist.