Her delicate hands scoop water from a mountain stream, sealing each bottle with a loving caress.
Or something like that, if you believe the marketing. Bottled water is, in reality, an industrial process which means you're more likely to see bottles rattling along conveyor belts, with robot hands screwing on lids. Another slaps on the label designed to invoke pure, fresh metaphors.
Few things better exemplify our bizarre world when nearly a third of people globally don't have access to safe drinking water, yet we buy it in plastic bottles.
In 2016 the USA produced nearly 50 megalitres of bottled water, making it the largest beverage category by volume. Wholesales approached US$16 billion.
It's a triumph of marketing that we pay for something that is essentially free. You can buy water for anywhere between $1.50 to over $5 in a plastic bottle (more than you pay for petrol).
So what's in a bottle of water?
The short answer: water.
One company admitted that all it does is put treated tap water in bottles, with the owner saying the business is "selling plastic bottles".
However it is a little more complicated than that.
Australian bottled water is classified as a food product which means it's not subject to the same controls as tap water. The quality and mineral content varies depending on which brand you buy.
Brands vary in their acidity. Some are fairly neutral or slightly alkaline while some can be quite acidic. One brand measured at pH 3.7, low enough damage tooth enamel.
Most brands have a lower concentration of minerals such as calcium and magnesium than tap water. A few also contain fluoride.
The taste of tap water varies considerably depending on where you live, and studies show that people tend to prefer the water they grew up with. Indeed, taste is one reason why some people prefer bottled water.
Tap water can be affected by pipes and connections, causing it to be discoloured. In 1998, Sydney water was affected by an outbreak of cryptosporidium. However, with better management of catchments and treatment, this was a rare event.
Surprisingly, bottled water has a shelf life. One concern is that chemicals such as bisphenol A from the plastic can leach into the water.
The plastics themselves are made from by byproducts of petroleum processing and natural gas.
Probably the strangest of all bottle water products you can buy is ... sourced from 10,000-year-old melted glacial ice.
The Fuzzy Logic Science Show is at 11am Sundays on 2xx 98.3FM.
Send your questions to AskFuzzy@Zoho.com, Twitter @FuzzyLogicSci, Podcast FuzzyLogicOn2xx.Podbean.com