Torn: Max Lowe's mountaineering documentary hits emotional heights

Alex Lowe was one of the major figures of the mountaineering world, a legend among fellow climbers. He was killed in 1999 at the age of 40 in an avalanche on the slopes of the Tibetan mountain Shishapangma, along with cameraman and fellow climber David Bridges.

It was a tragedy, especially for his wife Jennifer and three young sons, Max, Sam, and Isaac, who were 10, seven and three respectively when Alex died.

Years later, at the age of 33, Max Lowe decided to make a documentary - about his father, about what happened to the family after Alex's death, and about the feelings he and the others had that were largely kept repressed.

Torn - made for National Geographic - is a wrenchingly emotional experience. As someone whose father died far too young, I can relate all too well to a lot of what is shown in this film - the shock, the denial, the pain that never goes away, the feelings of guilt and loss and the difficulty in sharing the raw emotions with others, even those also affected.

Max was the only son old enough to have memories of Alex, who was often away on one climb or another, even at Christmas. He and his brothers refer to their father by his first name, a poignant sign of just how vague the filial feelings were, and are. It's as though the legend overshadowed the man, even for them.

While Alex was away, he and his family kept in touch via written communication and there was plenty of filming done on his various expeditions. This footage, as well as the letters, photographs and home movies, provide some of the material for Torn.

We see something of the "wild man" to whom Jennifer was attracted: a charismatic and adventurous spirit seemingly addicted to the challenges and thrills of conquering mountains.

Some of this footage is dizzying for someone like me who's no good with heights, and the shots of him swinging out into the air attached by ropes and cords made me cringe.

There are interviews with some of Alex's friends and fellow climbers who talk about this part of his life - and it was a large part.

But, inevitably, it's Alex's sudden death and the lasting effects of this that are the heart of the film.

Alex's close friend and fellow climber Conrad Anker plays a big part in the film. He survived the avalanche and suffered from survivor's guilt and PTSD.

He did what he could to help and comfort Alex's family and he and Jennifer grew close and got married within a year or so - something that provoked a lot of hurtful gossip.

It also didn't sit well with Max: he was the only member of the family not to add Anker's name to his own, still clinging to his father's memory and the forlorn, irrational hope that he might not be dead.

Later in the film comes a development I won't discuss except to say it provides another dimension to Torn and to Max's examination of grief and pain and family.

My main criticism of Torn is that we don't get much of a sense of the three brothers beyond the focus of the film - their lives, their jobs, their other relationships, their individuality. Perhaps Sam and Isaac, who show a certain degree of reservation about the film project, didn't want to go into that but Max doesn't reveal much about himself either.

We do learn something about the siblings' mother and stepfather but this is more directly related to the main central concerns.

Torn is a deeply moving story about loss and love and dealing with complicated, lingering feelings.