Jaime Fernandez describes his life as something akin to an old country song.
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It's an analogy encompassing his rollercoaster journey from a remote NT mining town to Canberra, via Adelaide, replete with Olympic highs, and devastating tragedy.
His handshake is firm as his greets us outside the Yarralumla headquarters of Rowing Australia, where Fernandez now works helping administer the sport he fell in love with almost immediately after jumping into his first boat as a college teenager in Adelaide.
That incredible journey on the water earned him a spot in the ACT Sport Hall of Fame last year
There's a twinkle in his eye, never lost from a mischievous youth, but it's also a gaze tinged with sadness from memories of his lost younger brother, his beloved mother and dear wife.
GROWING UP
Fernandez was born in Melbourne, but he suffered bad asthma as a baby, and the family relocated to Nhulunbuy on the Gove Peninsula in the Northern Territory to escape the damp and cold of the Carlton housing commission flats they lived in.
The move sprung a "rough and ready" childhood, where wearing shoes to school was optional, and kids played every sport they could access.
He grew up with Miguel, his brother of four years junior who was diagnosed with leukaemia before he was even 10 years old.
Treatment options in Nhulunbuy were insufficient, so the family moved to Adelaide, minus Fernandez, who had already grown so independent he lived on his own as a 13-year-old, before moving in with the Tremellen family.
But as Miguel's health deteriorated, Fernandez ultimately made the move to Adelaide himself.
"He would've been eight or nine when he was diagnosed," Fernandez recalls.
"When you first hear the news it's probably a mixture of fear, anxiety and deep concern, because of the unknown that goes with such an illness. You don't necessarily know what it means, what will happen next, what's his prognosis, what does that look like, and of course his life expectancy.
"From what we knew it was a rare form of leukaemia, unusual for someone so young to have contracted.
"He spent a significant part of his life in isolation in the children's hospital in Adelaide. You're isolated, you're gowned, you had to wash every time you went into the room, only certain people could go in.
"That was how his particular type of leukaemia and treatment was prescribed in the late 80's which was really tough obviously on him and my mother who basically lived in the room with him."
ADELAIDE
As Miguel fought the illness, Fernandez was adjusting to his new life at the Christian Brothers College in Adelaide.
Brother Marks, a giant of a man sporting a white shock of hair, had listened to Fernandez's story about his Nhulunbuy upbringing and welcomed him to the school with open arms.
When asked to pick a summer sport, Fernandez almost accidentally found himself in the rowing program. Were it not for a chance moment at an AFL training session back in his Nhulunbuy days, he likely would have never discovered rowing - one of the few sports he'd not come across in the Territory.
"I had been playing senior football from a young age, one training session a teammate turned up wearing an Australian rowing top," Fernandez recalls.
"Curiosity got the better of me and I enquired about the shirt and the story behind it. Little was I to know or could I have imagined what that would ultimately set in motion.
"I found myself sitting in front of my new Headmaster and being asked to choose a summer sport. Lo and behold, rowing was on the list and it jumped out at me and so my rowing journey was about to begin"
Rowing master Grant Bennett, and Head Coach Slim Lawrence took a liking to Fernandez, despite the fact he'd never rowed before.
"Both men were real characters, they had a gruffness and a stern demeanour about them which initially hid their wonderful attitudes and care for those in their charge," Fernandez says.
"Ultimately they just wanted you to do well and succeed, not only in rowing but in life."
Christian Brothers in Adelaide had only won the prestigious Head of the River once in its history, until Fernandez arrived. They won that crown again while Fernandez completed year 12 and a prospective rowing career was in motion.
But underlying Fernandez's determination to succeed in his new sport was the tragedy which had now engulfed his family.
"We lost him [Miguel] in that first year," Fernandez says.
"The way the school, its staff and students embraced me, and my family meant a great deal. At my brother's funeral the boys from the CBC formed an honour guard that we carried the coffin through.
"The school played a major role in my being able to get through such a difficult period. They were very much an extended family. They wrapped their arms around me and supported me unconditionally."
OLYMPICS
Almost immediately, rowing started opening unexpected doors for Fernandez.
He'd always figured he'd work in the mines at Nhulunbuy after school, or join the army. University had never been on his radar.
Before he knew it, Fernandez had been accepted into Adelaide University and drafted into its rowing club, which in his own words "further cemented his love for the sport".
Not long after he was introduced to esteemed rowing coach Reinhold Batschi, a man who would become a life-long mentor and after whom Rowing Australia's National Men's Training Centre is now named, and soon after was offered an invitation to train on a scholarship in Canberra in its AIS rowing program.
By 1992 Fernandez had rowed his way into Australia's Olympic team, and found himself as a bright-eyed 21-year-old marching in the Barcelona opening ceremony, in the country of his father's birth.
"To find myself finishing school in '89 to then, middle of '92, standing in an Olympic stadium especially having rowed for such a short period of time, I was seriously wondering 'how does this work? Is it fate, serendipity, some synchronicity that all just worked to conspire to have me standing in Spain of all places?" Fernandez fondly recalls.
"To have Spanish heritage, from my father Sergio, who was brave enough to travel to the other side of the world which ultimately led me to having this opportunity is something that was not lost on me. To walk into that beautiful stadium, it was an amazing Games, and life changing experience."
That was his first of three Olympics, where he helped the men's eights team to a fifth-place finish.
They finished sixth in Atlanta, before the opportunity came to compete at a home Olympics after another topsy-turvy period of his life during the 12 months leading into Sydney.
In October of 1999, he married Mary Jane, who was from a Yass farming family, with whom he spent almost 20 years in marriage with.
By the time the Sydney Games rolled around, she was pregnant with the couple's first child, Miguel.
But two months after their wedding, Fernandez lost his mother Pam on Christmas of 1999.
Then six weeks before the Games he lost one of his closest mates, Jason McFadyen who he'd grown close too while rowing in Canberra.
"He was a wonderful guy, a great friend, I saw him as brother. We rowed in a pair together as young men. We had similar upbringings and backgrounds which meant we clicked very quickly.
"He unfortunately died in 2000 approximately six weeks before the Games. Losing Mum, losing Jason, all in quick succession under the shadow of the Games, coupled with being away from my wife who was pregnant and working, and paying the bills so I could do what I wanted to do.
"There was a lot going on, a lot to manage, a lot to deal with. My late wife was amazing, she was so supportive."
Fernandez rowed on, like he'd always done, and secured a silver medal with the Australian men's eights beaten to gold by Great Britain by just 0.8sec.
"Competing in your own country at an Olympic Games is without question something incredibly unique and special, something that very few people get the privilege to do," Fernandez says.
"Competing on one of the biggest sporting stages, in your home country, in front of family and friends is an incredible thrill and blessing all wrapped into one. Having some success, winning a medal made it all the more special.
"The other significant element to Sydney was the fact that a number of the men in the boat, I'd known for most of my adult life to that point. We'd grown up together. We'd competed at other Olympics and World Championships together. It was a body of work that had spanned 10 years to get to that point."
FAMILY LIFE
Fernandez retired from rowing after the Sydney Games. Miguel [after Fernandez's late brother] was born the following year, and Ashley followed soon after.
Mary Jane had been a talented athlete in her own right, and the pair's children unsurprisingly showed sporting aptitude from an early age.
But just as the children were starting to grow, Mary Jane was diagnosed with cancer and their world was turned upside down.
"The type of cancer she had was, as we were to learn, was incredibly difficult to treat, meaning that the odds were against her, as we had explained to us early on," Fernandez recalls.
"She showed incredible grit, courage and determination. She went through multiple what were described as experimental surgeries - it was heartbreaking to witness, however, the way she endured through it all was inspiring at the same time.
"After an 8-year battle, which saw her cope with a great deal, there was ultimately little else that could be done and the most painful decision of all had to be made.
"One of her key wishes was to remain at home and not be in hospital. This allowed us to support and care for her throughout this period.
"Rowing Australia were incredibly supportive throughout our journey and I was able to work from home before remote working was even a thing.
"She loved her life and where she lived. Being able to pass away at home was so very important to her. To give her that opportunity was our final gift, the last thing we could do for her.
"It afforded the kids the opportunity to spend as much time with her as possible and she with them, it was incredibly important for us as a family.
"As Mary Jane had shared, her view was that she had everything she ever wanted. A loving marriage, beautiful children and she lived in a place she adored.
"Her desires for her life, in her words, were met by virtue of the life she was living. Both then and now I still reflect upon the grace, composure and compassion she demonstrated, what an incredible person. She lived with such courage, strength of purpose and a sense of contentment.
"[It's] incredibly humbling to have known her, love her, be loved by her and to have two amazing children together."
Mary Jane passed away in 2018, but not before offering a parting gift to her husband.
"She was adamant that I had to remain open to and prepared to live a rich and fulfilling life," Fernandez says.
"For anyone who has faced such a moment and series of discussions you will appreciate just how difficult and challenging they are. I cannot say that I was open to it, however, she was eager to ensure that I was going to be okay, that I didn't lock myself away or become a hermit.
"She was quite firm. She wasn't a big person, she was a tiny little thing, but she had incredible internal fortitude, strength of character and she just wanted us to all be happy.
"As life would have it and sometimes when you least expect it, as was the case for Naomi and I. Fate played its part, there was to be a second chance for love in my life.
"Naomi is an amazing women who, regardless of my faults, accepts me for who I am and my journey to date. We now have a chance to write a new chapter for the both of us."
Fernandez married Naomi in April of 2021, somehow managing to sidestep the lockdowns and Covid chaos to enjoy a complete celebration.
Later that year he was inducted into the ACT Sport Hall of Fame for his performances in the sport of rowing - a big leap for a barefoot boy from the NT and something Fernandez says he's honoured and delighted to have been included in.
The couple now live in Murrumbateman, with Naomi's daughter Lena who now calls Miguel and Ashley step siblings in what Fernandez describes as a "wonderfully blended family" - seemingly a million miles away from that rough and ready childhood in Nhulunbuy.
Lena attends Radford College like her step siblings did, while Miguel and Ashley are now pursuing their own sporting journeys.
Both have been involved in the Brumbies Youth 7s programs, and associated academies. Miguel now plays locally with the Uni-Norths Owls and Ashley is part of the ACT Brumbies' Super W squad, while also representing Royals.
"She [Naomi] is just the most precious, kind-hearted woman who does a great deal for the kids and a lot for me," Fernandez said.
"How on earth does a ratbag kid from the Territory be afforded the life he has, on top of that find not only one amazing person to share it with, but be afforded the opportunity to do so again, it still has me scratching my head.
"I've lost my brother, my mother, my wife, my best friend - I'm like an old country song. However, through it all rowing and the people within it have been my lighthouse, providing guidance, a pathway forward and a foundation to draw upon when I have most needed it.
"People in it have picked me up when I've been down and it has been a saviour, and I cannot thank enough those who have supported, cared and stood by me enough for their generosity, love and support."
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