Please, please, please! Just do it. We need to be put out of our misery.
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How long can this phony war go on, with the prime minister and the would-be prime minister turning up with batteries of cameras for what are clearly election events?
Once an election is called, the psychology of the nation changes. The focus shifts from the who's-up/who's-down gossip beloved by spin doctors and journos to actual policy.
All those dreary details of tax rates and costings suddenly matter. Franking credits affect real money in real bank accounts. Bill Shorten (remember him?) knew that after the 2019 election.
Will Labor's promise to guarantee a round-the-clock nurse in every aged care home attract voters or make them wary of the usual charge of big-spend Labor? Was it a guarantee - or just an aspiration? Once the choice is there as real and upon us, we think harder about it.
Has the shine come off Scott "I don't hold a hose" Morrison since he uttered the presumably accurate phrase in defence of his Hawaii holiday while the nation burned?
"People know who I am," Mr Morrison said on the radio. Does that play well or badly?
The last possible election date is May 21 which means Mr Morrison would have to go to the Governor-General by April 18. If he wants the election on May 14, he needs to call it by next Monday.
So the weekend looks likely - particularly now that a messy court battle over the selection of Liberal candidates is over.
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Meanwhile, Mr Albanese's grin gets wider behind his trendy specs and over his slim-line torso.
Entering into the spirit of the phony war, he offered Mr Morrison a lift to - to where exactly?
"I feel like putting in a phone call to the Prime Minister if he doesn't know where the Governor-General lives and offer him a lift to The Lodge to call this election," Mr Albanese said.
Fact-check: the Governor-General lives at Government House. Mr Albanese may one day live at The Lodge. Or he may not.
A federal election is true blood sport. The removalists are ready. Will politicians get the black limo or the pew in the bus?
The hero so far is the man who cornered the prime minister in a pub in Newcastle. A meticulously planned photo-opportunity turned into a face-to-face, finger-jabbing talking-to by a mere voter to the most powerful man in the country.
Magnificent. That wouldn't happen in many countries. Bring it on. Take a lift to Government House.