And one in six children refuses to go along with those parenting orders, says lead researcher Rae Kaspiew.

"Children are living in circumstances which are not consistent with their best interests," she said.

Some parents and carers said non-compliance was driven by children themselves, who were "voting with their feet" or resisting compliance.

The survey of nearly 500 families with parenting orders revealed for the first time the extent of non-compliance - and the reasons why. The survey of parents and carers for the Australian Institute of Family Studies and Australia's National Research Organisation for Women's Safety shows parents who experience problems with compliance often have relationships characterised by family violence, and serious concerns about child wellbeing.

Reasons given for non-compliance include that the parent was trying to be difficult or vindictive or was abusive or controlling.

"These findings show we need a legislative framework and process that centralises the individual needs of the particular child," says Kaspiew.

The National Children's Commissioner Anne Hollonds is calling for a review of processes within family law.

"Children are let down by their independent children's lawyers. This is what the research is showing and some children have ended up in situations where they are in danger," she said.

Hollonds said independent children's lawyers need to be funded appropriately and that in each case, those lawyers should meet the children at the centre of the case.

ANROWS CEO Padma Raman says there is an urgent need for improvement in screening and assessment in family law matters, focusing on identifying the predominant aggressor.

"There must be more careful consideration of children's needs arising from trauma and what parenting arrangements might best suit their recovery," she said.

The Australian Law Reform Commission report released in 2019 made recommendations to improve compliance with parenting orders.

A spokesperson for the Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus said the results of the survey were deeply concerning.

"Under the former government Australia's family law system was neglected and not properly resourced ... the former government did not implement key ALRC recommendations that would improve the safety of children who are the subject of parenting orders."

The spokesperson said the Attorney-General is considering all recommendations from the ALRC report.