School formals: a time for celebration not discrimination

So I admire the student at Ivanhoe Girls Grammar, and her parents, for having the courage to speak out about the fact that she was unable to invite a same-sex partner to the formal.

The school formal is an important rite of passage for teenagers, but some don't go because they can't rustle up an appropriate partner.

One of my friends wept recently because her son, who is on the Asperger's spectrum, does not have a female friend he is close enough to ask. Another girl I know asked the boys she knew, only to find they already had partners. She was crushed at missing out on a milestone event.

As an exchange student at a New York school in the 1970s, I too felt excruciating pressure to come up with someone so I could go to the prom. I hadn't had long to get to know anyone, and my host brother, who I had a serious crush on, was in love with a beautiful French girl. At the 11th hour, I rustled up a friend of my host family who was also desperate and dateless.

In hindsight, I should have been able to go without a partner. I would have preferred to as I didn't know him very well.

Isn't it time we let students go along to school formals without a date? That would take the pressure off so many marginalised teenagers.

La Trobe University's studies on gay teenagers and high school indicate that many don't go to a school formal. In fact, the research shows that most young people remain silent about their orientation until they have left school.

And if their parents might get upset, or hold homophobic views, they stay quiet at home, too.

Same-sex attracted young people - the term favoured by researchers at La Trobe's Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society - still face more than their share of bullying, abuse and violence. They are more likely to be homeless, depressed, suicidal or substance abusers than other teenagers, according to the university's surveys.

The research also shows that 60 per cent of same-sex attracted young people experience verbal or physical abuse and 74 per cent of this takes place in schools.

For many gay people, the high school years are the hardest of their lives.

The university will soon release Writing Themselves In 3, the third part of its ongoing national study. This time, 3134 young people responded to the survey, 900 of them from Victoria. It is important research because it affects so many young people - it confirms that about 10 per cent of young people are sexually attracted towards people of the same sex, translating to about three students in each class of 30. This figure is consistent across countries that acknowledge sexual diversity, according to La Trobe University researcher Dr Lynne Hillier. Most young people who are gay realise this around the time of puberty but about 30 per cent know earlier.

These young people are often not getting much support from schools. When I interviewed a group of students from a range of schools recently, most noted that teachers were slow to clamp down on homophobic comments and that sex-education classes mostly did not acknowledge same-sex relationships.

Some had witnessed gay students being bullied, either overtly or by exclusion.

The Victorian government's Supporting Sexual Diversity in Schools policy, launched in August 2008, says that to comply with the Victorian Equal Opportunity Act, schools must ensure that students and staff do not experience homophobia or discrimination.

Schools must have continuous, proactive strategies and staff members who turn a blind eye may be held liable for authorising or assisting discrimination.

Despite the potential for legal action, many state schools ignore these requirements. And independent schools, including those in the Catholic system, are not bound by these policies. Surely we can do better than this.

Denise Ryan is a senior education journalist.