His death in 1965, when Carol was eight months' pregnant, was never discussed. She never got to hold her baby. She never got to see him. His funeral was held while she was still in hospital in Sydney. The only link she had to him was the bill for the funeral.

Everyone just expected her to get on with it and, at the age of 25, she didn't feel mature or strong enough to question any of it.

"Nobody was interested in talking about it. That's my recollection now," she said.

"It was a totally different era to what it is now."

These days, parents are encouraged to spend as much time as they need with their child who is stillborn. There is also support after the tragedy, including from SIDS and Kids, which on Friday marks Red Nose Day, raising funds to support research into stillbirth, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and safe sleeping practice

Carol, who at the time also had a 14-month-old son, Paul, was initially told she might not have any more children but went on to have four more. She also has 13 grandchildren. But she never forgot her baby boy.

"I've always said I had six kids in eight years and I've never thought not to say that," she said.

Decades later, Carol, a retired senior tax adviser, was encouraged to attend a bereavement workshop by then SIDS and Kids counsellor, Helen Geltch, who was a client.

She was nervous about attending the counselling with young mothers who had just experienced the loss of their child.

"I thought, 'What would be the point in me going?'," she said.

"But it was great, amazing. The other mothers were more concerned for me because I hadn't seen my baby, I hadn't held him."

When Carol had her stillborn son, he was known only as "Baby Taloni". Another son, Bruce, eventually found the baby's death certificate online in 2006.

They knew the baby was buried at Rookwood Cemetery in Sydney but had no idea where. The stillborn children at the time were buried together and in unmarked graves.

It was only when her own mother died in 2007 and was buried at the same cemetery that Carol went to the office for one last time to see if they could locate her baby's grave.

"This time there was a lady there and she took a bit more care and realised they'd been misspelling my name as Toloni," Carol said.

"Once they put the right name in, the whole thing came up."

She was directed to the place where her son was buried and finally laid her hand on the cement block which was its only marker. Her family has since put a plaque in the cemetery, naming her "treasured and loved" son and the other five babies buried with him.

It was through the SIDS and Kids workshop that Carol finally named her son out loud, previously only thinking to herself that he was called Tony.

"A special mother, Jillian, on the final day of the workshop suggested we light each other's child's candle. She said to me, 'Can I light the candle for Tony?'. So he was named," she recalled.

"SIDS and Kids has provided closure for me because I know where my son lies, he has been named, and, above all, I now know that other families who suffer such a loss have the wonderful support and loving care and attention of all at SIDS and Kids."

Carol, now 75, now offers supports to parents and grandparents who have experienced a loss, through a peer support program with SIDS and Kids. She will be visiting Sydney next week when she will again visit Tony's grave.

"He was my child," she said.

* Red Nose Day products are available from leading retailers throughout June.