Long journey from a woman to a man

It's only once he begins to talk about his struggles with gender identity and the time spent becoming a man that people realise there's a deeper story behind his stubble.

''I probably spent about five years just going around in circles, thinking about gender,'' he said.

''Those years were pretty tricky and in the end, I never actually resolved it. I just got to the point one day of thinking it was an impossible question to answer - how on earth could I know if it was right for me to live as a man?''

Mr Hyndal spoke to The Canberra Times about his experiences over tea in the undisclosed headquarters of A Gender Agenda, a support group set up for sex- and gender-diverse people in the capital.

He said that sense of belonging was important, and that he didn't want others to experience the isolation he felt when he began transitioning 14 years ago.

Back then, he didn't know there were other Canberrans experiencing similar struggles and had no easy access to the internet for help on discussing the issue with his family.

''It was pretty tricky for my parents,'' he said.

''I think it still is a bit tricky for them. The person I was concerned about was my grandfather, but he actually dealt with it the best. He took a little moment to think about it, went 'OK', and the whole way he interacted with me changed. There was no uncertainty in his mind.''

The transitioning process itself was also challenging, forcing Mr Hyndal to jump through medical hoops to get approval without substantial support or counselling.

And as he began to gain confidence during his transition, he found there was nobody to discuss that with either.

''There were some really exciting things, but no one to share them with,'' he said.

''It's not just about support or assistance, it's also about having space to talk about the good bits and celebrate the things that are really wonderful.''

Mr Hyndal has spent the past few years trying to change that, working through A Gender Agenda to build a sense of community among the capital's sex- and gender-diverse people.

Since then, he has listened to many stories of social exclusion from people too scared to leave their homes for fear of abuse.

A 2008 survey by A Gender Agenda found that in comparison to the wider ACT community, sex- and gender-diverse people had low rates of social engagement, relationships and employment.

Mr Hyndal said a lot of the issues stemmed from discrimination in the wider community.

''I think it really pushes buttons,'' he said.

''The way our society operates and the way you identify people, one of the very first things you identify is if they're a man or a woman. So when you're presented with someone who doesn't fit neatly into those boxes, it can be quite confronting.''

He said gender can be complex - after 14 years, he is still looking at how he fits into the wider world.

''It's not as simple as going , ''There are only men and women','' he said.

''In terms of asking am I a man or a woman, then I see myself as being a man. But I also see myself as a man who spent 25 years living as a woman, and that's part of who I am.'' Stephanie Anderson

This reporter is on Twitter: @stephanieando