Trumpersville? You're out

We will come to these lost opportunities in just a few luminous paragraphs after first noting that Australia's choice of the federal capital city's name attracted some scoffing in England, the Motherland. We know this because the Hobart Mercury had a Special Correspondent in London and he told Mercury readers all about it in his ''London Letter.'' Here is a little of it.

''London, March 21. Good Friday morning.

''In Fleet St., 20 feet from my desk, there is the silence [like that] of a London Sunday. It is broken by the bells of St. Bride's, telling the hour of an early service.

''The naming of Canberra continues to exercise the English press. This week some of the comic journals have taken the subject in hand. Punch for example, has been poking fun at Canberra, and what it describes as its 'christening'. It prints a series of messages from notable people who might be supposed to have original notions upon this epoch-making event.

''Mr P.F. Warner [this is Sir Pelham 'Plum' Warner, the grand old man of English cricket] regrets that the Commonwealth Government faded to commemorate the greatest of all Australian products - cricket. This might have been done by calling the capital Trumpersville [after Victor Trumper the dashing batsman] or even Spofforthstow [after Frederick 'The Demon Bowler' Spofforth, the whirlwind fast bowler].''

''Punch continued that Mr. P.A. Vaile is reported as regretting that the opportunity was missed of calling the capital Boomeranga in memory of the famous aboriginal missile which is the outstanding contribution to the inventions of the world.

''Lord Courtney of Penwith [impressed by Australia's pioneering interest in proportional representation electoral systems] confesses to bitter disappointment that the name Proportionalia was rejected.''

In that same edition Punch noticed that ''Canberra is to be dustless, smokeless, mudless, odourless, and slumless'' and was worried that this reminded one of W.S. Gilbert's quotation:

Oh, don't the days seem uncommonly long,

When all goes right and nothing goes wrong?

And won't we all feel uncommonly flat

When there's nothing on earth to grumble about?

But Punch needn't have worried since today's Canberrans, without having anything on earth really worth grumbling about, have elevated the FWW (the First World Whinge) to an art form.

One hundred years ago this week and with the name of the federal capital city about to be announced, Myola was the clear favourite with the bookies. The irreverent weekly The Bulletin had fun with the idea that Myola was the choice of the narcissistic Minister for Home Affairs, King O'Malley, because it was so similar to his own name. (This was totally unfair since O'Malley's dream for the city was the name Shakespeare.) It published a cartoon of then governor-general Lord Denman christening the city, a howling baby in his arms, and warbling this song.

There's a name that has long lingered in our King O'Malley's fancy,

Which will lend itself to sentimental ditty.

The French had been before him, or he might have chosen Nancy,

For the title of this royal infant city.

But one night when King O'Malley watched the sunset in the valley,

While he gently scraped the strings of a viola,

One word an angel muttered as about his head she fluttered,

And the word the lady uttered was

My-o-la.

Chorus: Like the moonlight on the water, like the smile of Pharaoh's daughter,

Sweet as music made by fairy pianola;

Was the word that stirred O'Malley to his vitals in the valley,

O'Myola, O'Myola, O! My-o-la!

Also 100 years ago, and on the eve of the ceremony, The Queanbeyan Age found that the soldiers encamped at the federal capital site (they were to take in part in the displays of the day), had made their own choice of a name for the city.

''ALMOST A BLIZZARD AT CANBERRA. Federal Capital Camp, Sunday: Light Horsemen are almost unanimous in the opinion the name Antarctica … would be a most appropriate one. The conditions have been frigid, and the strong southerly of Friday veered to the south-east, and blew all day yesterday with the force almost of a blizzard. The storm continued with unabated fury throughout the night.''