Australian sex study shows what you can learn from your kids about sex

Strange, isn't it. We imagine that we old timers would be cautious about sex because we know what can go wrong. I mean, haven't we spent the last 20 years telling our kids to use protection? Condoms, contraceptive pills. Yes, that's been the main conversation when it comes to sex education.

But new figures show that when it comes to sex education, adults could learn a thing or three about sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

The second Australian Study of Health and Relationships (ASHR) shows that condom use is much more likely among people who are younger.

Richard de Visser, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex and one of the investigators for ASHR, says that even when researchers accounted the fact that younger people were more likely to have casual relationships than older folks, people over 40 were still less likely to use protection during casual sex. He thinks it might be because the public presentation of sexually transmitted infections is about youth.

But here's what we can learn from the young. Over 70 per cent of men aged 16 to 19 used condoms during what the survey describes "the most recent event of vaginal intercourse". 70 per cent! That is pretty good compliance with a form of protection which still gets bad press.

But add just 21 years to that age group and you will discover that older folks don't get any wiser. The percentage plummets to just over 16 per cent. Women are even less likely to have said that a condom was used in their last act of intercourse – just over 60 per cent for the younger group and just under 12 per cent for the older group. Over all, about one in three men and one in two women who have sex with a casual partner do not use condoms. Plus! About 15 per cent of us only put on condoms after initial genital contact. People! Horse! Bolted!

De Visser says among the young, condom use has been normalised. Not so much in those over 40.

"There needs to be reinforcement – GPs should be asking about it and normalising it as prevention for STIs ... this is something we are learning from the younger generation."

The Grim Reaper television ads in the late eighties about the transmission of HIV did us a favour. Even if we thought we weren't in the target group of those who might acquire HIV, the particular age group which was paying attention to those ads got the message about safe sex. The only safe sex is when you use a condom. Unless you are absolutely sure that you are both monogamous (and this research also says that many more women than men think they have had discussions about monogamy with their partners).

Deborah Bateson, medical director of Family Planning NSW, says it is hard to know why older people are so lax about condom use although she suggests that perhaps the Grim Reaper ads might have passed that group by. She also agrees with de Visser that most STI campaigns are targeted at young people.

But there are other issues too for older folks who want the protection that only condoms offer. Both men and women experience changes which might make them feel as if condoms might be a little tricky. Bateson says there needs to be more of a push to let people know that these days, condoms can do just about anything. Be warmer. Be thinner. Be flexible.

"It's just being aware of the appropriate ones to use, men and women need to be having those conversations."

She also believes that older women think that condoms are about preventing pregnancy. And that's true, of course. But they are also about preventing much more than that.

The ASHR research shows disturbing trends in the contraction of sexually transmitted infections. In the year before being interviewed, 1.2 per cent of men in the 16 to 19 age group contracted an STI. That's exactly the same percentage as for men in their sixties. For women, it's more or less the same.

And in that age group where condom use starts to fall, 40 to 49, the percentage of men and women who have ever had a sexually transmitted infection is 20 per cent for men and over 26 per cent for women.

Since 2002, when ASHR 1 took place, the proportion of those interviewed for the study who had ever had an STI declined among men and rose significantly among women. And that's true even though women know that STIs may lead to infertility.

So kids, give your parents the sex ed talk. They need it. Even more than you do.

Twitter @jennaprice or email jenna_p@bigpond.net.au