Cricket Australia: time for a snuggle on the couch

And the next day. And the next.

If I'm very lucky, I'll get to watch five days of brilliant Test cricket. I'm not always lucky. Sometimes Australia plays so badly the Tests are over quickly – and then there's a huge gap.

There's about to be a huge gap in my cricket viewing and I am not pleased.

If loving cricket is a sickness, I'm joined by many others, both here and internationally. I've just dug up the Channel Nine viewing figures for the Boxing Day Test, during the last Ashes series in Australia. First session, the one that starts mid-morning, there were more than 1.8 million people joining me on the couch. By dinner time (clearly, these people needed to sleep off Christmas Day), there were more than 2 million of us, jostling for the sweet spot in front of the telly.

What's not to love? The players are insanely athletic, they concentrate for hours and bowling is the most glorious sporting endeavour on the planet. Hypnotic.

Yet one man is about to ruin my fun. Yep, David Peever is set to wreck my holidays.

Don't know who he is? He's chair of Cricket Australia, the organisation that is doing its level best to make sure Australia loses the Ashes. Here's my problem. For nearly a year, Cricket Australia and those who play cricket have been arguing about money, more specifically the agreement that saw players receive nearly a quarter of all cricket revenue received.

The players want it to continue. Cricket Australia doesn't. Now the players are out of contract. And I just want to watch cricket in peace along with millions of other Australians. Which considering there are no negotiations with Channel Nine – and we are just a few months out – looks unlikely right now.

In breaking news, the tour of South Africaby an Australia A side led by Usman Khawaja has just been called off! This is a recipe for losing the Ashes, as anyone who has tried to do anything hard without having any practice will know.

Channel Nine! Do something. All those 16-to-39 year olds, plonked on their bottoms, ready to watch the ads between the sport. Intervene, for cricket's sake!

What can we ordinary cricket-loving Australians do to stop this mayhem? Former Labor minister and spin bowler* Greg Combet is, ahem, going in to bat for the players, represented by the Australian Cricketers' Association

so I rang Combet for advice. I'm pretty sure this was a test** of his patience when I asked him how we cricket spectators could get involved and back the lads (also, not just the lads, the women are in this too, although not, sadly, playing on Boxing Day).

I asked him if he thought Peever or James Sutherland, the chief executive of Cricket Australia, had Facebook or Twitter accounts where the silent watchers could field their views. Silence. Combet works in mysterious ways, which don't include social media campaigns.

But here's what this middle-aged, mother-of-three, cricket watcher thinks.

The 25 per cent revenue-sharing model seems perfectly reasonable; it's generated by ticket sales, sponsorship and broadcasting rights. Yes, the players get a huge sum. The retainer portion of Australian captain Steve Smith's contract is more than $1 million – and he gets another $14,000 each Test. But you need to recognise that these players only earn this money for a very short time. It's the reason they get greedy. Hey, just a heads-up male cricketers: you'd earn even more sympathy if you'd share that bonus with the women– they are at the heart of the growth in cricket, especially at the grassroots. Cricket Australia is pretending it would throw more money the women's way if it could just pedal back on the model. Haha. We know what they really think about women.

Players are the reason we watch. It's their talent, expertise and zany application of zinc. Their funny little ball-polishing habits. The unique way they run up to bowl. The way they fiddle with their gloves or bend their knees or whack the bejesus out of the ball. Seriously. The best.

More than a month ago, Smith said he backed the players' association and he expected there would be a resolution before June 30. He was wrong.

Maybe let Cricket Australia know how you feel. Can't guarantee it will let comments go through to the keeper but we should be able to field our feelings somewhere.

*Ok, I don't think he was ever a spin bowler. But he should be. Methodical. Quirky. Fits, right?

** I'll stop with the terrible cricket puns now. Sorry.