However, given His use of a form of English from the time of King James and His tendency to speak in riddles - have you tried reading Daniel or Isaiah or Proverbs? - the discussion will not involve perplexing questions like the meaning of life or who will win the next Melbourne Cup.

Instead she will ask for some help for her colleague the Treasurer and how he might go about getting big firms to pay their proper share of taxes. The opposition say that this is a waste of time because even God could not make sense of the labyrinth of schemes cooked up by people with American MBAs to confuse Australian tax authorities.

At present, Ms Bishop is in discussion with a number of experts about where on earth she might find God. There is a strong lobby group in the Coalition that insists Rome should be the first place to look. The Prime Minister and several of the cabinet are among this group, though Mr Abbott himself is thought to be lobbying quietly in favour of the Queen, as head of the Church of England; the fact that her husband has an Australian knighthood is presented as a strong case for this choice.

A small minority insist that God is to be found among the Islamic people who are determinedly monotheistic and reject ideas like the Christian Trinity. "We got rid of Zeus and Baal and Thor and their cohort a long time ago," a spokesperson said. "Why should we now have a situation where we are not sure whether it is one or three gods?" However, it is unlikely that Ms Bishop will look for God among followers of Islam because there is a danger of coming in contact with what her leader calls a death cult.

Meanwhile, a cross-party group, supporters of equality of all people independent of race, gender, physical characteristics, sexual orientation, age or football code, are suggesting that God can be found everywhere, even in Canberra, and that there is no need to travel to find Her.

The Greens think that the whole thing is a joke and anyway, they say, God is to be found in nature and Ms Bishop would be better advised to visit Tasmania and spend a few days camping out in the Tarkine wilderness.

The Greens also have another suggestion: Ms Bishop should not be bothering God - a favourite Australian pastime - but should concentrate instead on setting up a meeting with Mr Beelzebub on the basis that he has solved the energy problem in his establishment.

Scientists are divided on how Mr B has managed to keep the fires lit for thousands of years. The most common belief is that he has solved the problem of harnessing the energy of nuclear fusion and that this is something our world would not want to be made public because it would be a disaster for the mining and petroleum industries.

(There are other suggestions about how hell keeps burning, such as the discovery of new transuranic elements whose atomic number is so high that they are no longer radioactive. There is also the thought that some method has been found to break through the barrier of absolute zero temperature, at which stage heating may start again. People who hold these views are urged to check their pension entitlements).

Ms Bishop's itinerary is currently being finalised and while Qantas is delighted to fly the Minister to First and Third World countries, they are refusing to have anything to do with flights to the next world. Contrary to what has been put about by some people, they have not suggested alternative airlines: it was pointed out that this might appear to be taking commercial advantage of some recent disasters. Moreover, the Qantas chief executive is convinced that if they are looking for God's country, there is only one place they should be going, but he refused to say where he had in mind.

After her return, Ms Bishop will address Parliament on the outcomes of her travels. The Prime Minister and the Treasurer and other ministers will praise her, probably to the high heavens. As usual they will contrast her performance with the previous government who left the country with a debt that increases each time they mention it. The opposition will then criticise her on some basis, probably to do with the 2014 budget.

And life will go on as before.

Frank O'Shea is a Melbourne writer.