Seven deadly sins of Australian parliament

We've had Kevin Rudd's mania, Julia Gillard's minority government, Tony Abbott's knights and dames and Malcolm Turnbull's innovation.

But there has never been a more exhausting time to be alive than right now. You know things have got truly weird when Wayne Swan (the man with the ringside seat to the Rudd-Gillard bonanza) tweets, "In all the time I've been in Parliament, it's never been this bizarre".

We're at a point where we don't know if the Deputy Prime Minister is entitled to sit in Parliament. Or if the government can be the government. And where our highly experienced Foreign Minister started a diplomatic crisis with (wait for it ...) New Zealand, to score political points on the home front.

Parliament is in the grip of something both messy and terrifying. Here are the seven deadly sins it needs to overcome.

1. Hypocrisy

A little hypocrisy is the lifeblood of political life. If people stuck to their standards all the time, this would create problems when situations change. You always need room to manoeuvre and hop on your moral high horse. But hypocrisy has recently been taken to new and glorious levels.

Exhibit Barnaby Joyce's July 18 comments, expressing a hard line about Greens senators resigning.

"It's quite clear under section 44. You can't be a member of Parliament and have dual citizenship. It's black and white," he told the ABC.

"You just have got to do your homework and make sure you're not a citizen of two countries when you stand for Parliament."

2. Inconsistency

Again, you can't expect total consistency from politicians. They are humans, not a McDonalds' drive-thru, so sometimes the shape of the nuggets varies. But you need to be able to follow the logic at the same time.

Last month, Nationals MP Matt Cavanan stepped aside from his cabinet post while his Italian citizenry (and possible ineligibility for Parliament) is investigated by the High Court. Just weeks later, his colleague, Joyce, is staying in cabinet and keeping his deputy prime ministerial gig while his New Zealand citizenship (and possible ineligibility for Parliament) is investigated by the High Court. Huh?

It's hard to see how the two cases differ. Other than the argument that maybe Joyce's situation is more serious than Canavan's, given he was a New Zealand citizen from birth (rather than an Italian citizen from his 20s), sits in the lower house and is the second most senior person in the government.

3. Stupidity

How have so many MPs stood for election not being aware of their citizenship status? Or not sought the proper legal advice to clear things up? How can you be a 50 year-old man and not know you were a dual citizen for your entire life? How hard can it be?

4. Head burying

As uncertainty builds like a cumulus cloud about the status of MPs (each day brings new doubts), both major parties continue to act like they don't have to do anything about their own patches. Labor has developed a penchant for issuing blanket statements about how its vetting processes are excellent – and so its MPs don't need to release documentation to prove the single citizenship of its MPs.

The government is studiously avoiding any sort of leadership here. Such as setting up an independent inquiry into all MPs to settle the question properly. Or initiating a change to the nomination process with the Australian Electoral Commission. Or standing Joyce aside until his situation is clear up.

Maybe if they pretend it's not happening it will all go away.

5. Arrogance

The issues at play here – the very legitimacy of MPs and the government – don't get any bigger. By not taking significant action (other than to attack the other side), both major parties are treating voters with huge disdain. Yes, it's easy to see why they don't want public scrutiny of their paperwork. But voters deserve so much more.

6. Recklessness

At a time when the government might be looking to calm things down, Julie Bishop has pushed the "diplomatic crisis" button. In a press conference on Tuesday, the usually uber careful Foreign Minister said she would "find it very hard to build trust" with a New Zealand Labour government (if one were elected), in the wake of claims an Australian Labor figure was in contact with NZ Labour over the Joyce issue.

Amazingly, Bishop's started her press conference with a (token) serious message about North Korea and possible world annihilation. But clearly, starting a fight with our closest bro deserved more of her energy.

7. Confusion

The end result is no one knows what's going on. The High Court might not decide on Joyce's situation until October, meaning we have several months worth of mucking around and instability. Should the Deputy Prime Minister be able to vote in the lower house? Is the government for real? Is any of it for real?

A good thing then that we've got this same-sex marriage postal survey to give people something else to focus on.

Judith Ireland is a Fairfax Media senior writer.