Welcome to Budget 2013: the musical. The front bench took their spinning seats while the Speaker of the Australian Voice Daz McMullen, just like Laurie Oakes and co, informed us this will be the "last Showdown".
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Tonight is all about last chances.
Each of the four judges have four team members left standing.
The public have voted.
One goes through to the finals, another is sent home and two will sing for their spot in the cabinet, or "their lives" as Mr Speaker McMullen put it.
From the Showdowns, where they sing their blind audition song, each judge will choose a winner and decide who will live to see another day, because, to borrow a phrase from Swannie, "this a responsible way to run a reality talent show."
"Here, here," they cheered.
Here’s the official soundtrack to Budget 2013 as performed by the cast of The Voice.
Team Joel
"Shy Guy" – Lyric opened the show with an homage to Kevin Rudd.
"When the Levee Breaks" – Danny crooned about the impending Medicare surcharge.
The verdict:
Delta couldn’t decide who she liked.
Ricky liked Lyric’s "swing".
Danny, wearing a hat from the Bob Katter for Boys line of accessories, made Seal "believe", in what we can’t be sure, perhaps headwear.
Joel decided to "go with his gut" and chose Danny. Danny, in turn, looked as stunned as Simon Crean did when he found out he fudged Spill 2.0.
Moving forward:
Michael and Danny are safe, while Lyric and Kathy were sent to the backbench.
Team Delta:
"Bedowyn Song" – Ben channelled his inner Craig Emerson and decided to confuse everyone with his inaudible racket.
"Sunday, Bloody Sunday" – Tim, in an attempt to get into the PM’s good books, played Julia Gillard’s favourite QT warm up ditty.
"I can't believe the news today, Oh, I can't close my eyes, And make it go away”.
The verdict:
Joel like Ben’s voice but preferred Tim’s performance.
Ricky just wants Ben to keep singing, but the RSCPA arrived and stopped him as they had received reports cats were being strangled on set.
Seal wants to see more of Ben’s "layers".
Delta and Mr Speaker McMullen had to "shoosh" the crowd who behaved like the Liberal ministry during the mining tax debate.
She went with Tim because she felt he had "layers". As we cut to an ad break she shot Seal the Julie Bishop death stare.
Moving forward:
Celia and Tim are safe, while Ben and Nathan were sent to the backbench.
Team Seal:
"Watch Over Me" – Jac sang from the Liberal’s songbook "Hymns for Howard".
"You Give Me Something" – Shawne’s (ironic) homage to Swannie’s $18 billion deficit.
The verdict:
Delta said both performers have really grown.
Ricky made less sense than Peter Slipper’s career path after he said something along the lines of, "There’s a lot of people that look a lot like you. You’re a movement."
Joel just wanted Shawne to win.
After prattling on more than Geoffrey Barker did about TV journalists, Seal officially welcomed Jac to his team.
Moving forward:
Mitchell and Jac are safe, Shawne and Nicholas were sent to the backbench.
Team Ricky:
"Blue Skies" – Emma showed off her scat skills which came close to matching those of Barnaby Joyce.
"Hot Right Now" – Caterina debuted the official theme song of Wyatt Roy’s forthcoming 2013 election campaign.
The verdict:
Seal appreciated Emma’s class. He wasn’t as enamoured with Caterina, probably because her extension enhanced hairstyle was ‘More Joyous’ than her voice.
Joel loved Emma. Almost as much as Missoni – his Budget night hair sponsor.
"The whole country is aware that this is the hardest decision facing the nation right now," aspiring social commentator and Peter Garrett wannabe Delta said without really saying anything.
Ricky appeared to be catatonic and confused, just like Tony Abbott looked during the famous Misogyny speech, but eventually came to, "See you in the studio Emma. I need to work with Caterina more," he said.
Moving forward:
Thanks to his number one single on iTunes Luke is safe, as is Caterina, while Emma and James were sent to the backbench.
