Tony Abbott and Bill Shorten should go eat some worms.
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But Shorten should eat more than Abbott.
Swinging voters in focus groups have concluded that just as the song goes, nobody likes the nation's leaders. In fact, everybody hates them.
Even the thickest of political hides would strain under voters', wince, Real World Assessment.
As an amuse-bouche, focus groupees were asked to use two words to describe the Prime Minister and Opposition Leader
"Dull and puppet," "ugly and annoying", "average and bumbling" were some of the pummel offerings for Abbott. Along with the slightly more off-Broadway suggestion: "lizard".
Shorten didn't fair any better with "tacky and fake," "spineless and boring" and "unpolished and typical". Instead of a reptile descriptor, he got "dog with a bone".
But the heaviest blows were saved for the group discussions, where nice, unassuming Australians let fly with more put downs than a busy pound.
"[Abbott's] the opposite [to a statesman], he's more down the clown side," one softly spoken bloke in a parka said.
On the opposite side of the table, another man laughed ruefully: "You want the idea that [your prime minister is] smarter than you are, not the other way around."
In a different session, a young woman shrugged. "I tend to change the channel if he comes on."
And all of this was kind compared with the Shorten shots.
Some voters just laughed when asked what they thought of the Labor leader.
Others complained he was untrustworthy or "invisible".
"He doesn't look a prime minister," a man said quietly but firmly.
"[He looks like] he's just come in from down the pub," said another.
"I used the words bland and accountant," another middle-aged fella informed the group.
A man with a warm jumper and a wedding ring opined that Shorten had not said anything that had made an impression on him.
"It's just sort of an empty void."
But the worst barb came from a woman who smiled apologetically and said: "There's no charisma with Bill. He's about as exciting as [former Victorian premier] Denis Napthine."
Send in the worms.
