In a long journalistic career, this columnist has reported many rallies of the religious faithful worked up into an excitable state by charismatic preachers. Yesterday's National Press Club address by Centenary of Canberra creative director Robyn Archer reminded me a little of those hair-raising occasions.
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More of the eerie revivalist rally qualities of yesterday's occasion in a moment; but first an acknowledgement of what a pulsating speaker Archer is. In a speech yesterday bristling with highlights, it's hard to pick a particular one, but one we all enjoyed and chortled at was the story she told - doing it for us as a little playlet - of the encounters she is always having, these days, at the nation's airports.
She is an evangelist for Canberra and people who disparage the city in conversation with her at airports get a figurative knee to the groin and then, while they're figuratively down and writhing and can't get away, a lecture.
Archer: [Setting the scene] This is me, checking in to any Australian airport.
Canberra-bashing buffoon: ''Morning Ms Archer, where are you off to today?''
Archer: ''Canberra.''
Canberra-bashing buffoon: ''Oh you poor thing. Roundabouts. Bloody awful weather. Bloody pollies. Fat public servants …''
Archer: (Who will no longer cop this, putting down her bags and folding her arms) ''Oh, when were you last there? Thirty years ago! Well, just let me tell you. Terrific new airport. Greenest capital in the world. First Australian city to have an electric car network. Any idea how many Nobel prize winners Canberra has produced? Highest percentage of cyclists of any Australian city. Highest percentage of people participating in sport … highest number of people who attend cultural events. Best collections of Australian indigenous art in the world. An hour and a half from the coast. An hour and a half from the snow. Exquisite seasons. And if it's cold gee they do cold well there [food, firesides, wine].
''But actually all this is not really the point. You see, it's your capital. You need to get to know it better. Did you know that Jackie Chan's bedroom is still there? You need to get to know Canberra better. You could come there during the centenary year. You could update your opinion. You could save yourself the embarrassment of displaying constant ignorance of your own capital city …''
Later in a gushing question time, she was asked what reaction she gets at airports when she gives Canberra-bashing buffoons this lecture? Archer mimed the face of a startled, speechless victim, open-mouthed with amazement, albeit one who she's sure is thinking to himself or herself ''Who is this nutty old queer?'' Archer's witty, self-deprecating references to her sexuality were a part of the whole endearing package of yesterday's event.
Yes, it was in the gushing question time that one began to worry if Robyn-worship may be becoming a little bit cultish. One of yesterday's gushing grateful even suggested (please God, let's hope with tongue in cheek!) that grateful Canberrans should ''erect a golden statue in your honour''. Had a collection been taken then and there while we were at our most fervent, we might well have raised enough to pay for that monument to Archer, our hammer of the Canberra-bashing buffoons.
