In August 2012, Private Robert Poate was killed while serving in Afghanistan, on a day that changed his mother's life.
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Private Poate, 23, was one of three Australian soldiers gunned down by Army Sergeant Hikmatullah, a rogue Afghan National Army soldier, at the Wahab patrol base in the Baluchi Valley region in Uruzgan province.
"It was just like a bad dream," Janny Poate said.
"I was in total disbelief - I thought, it couldn't be Robbie, it can't be him.
"It took me nearly six months to fully believe it, I thought he would still walk through that back door with that big grin like he always had."
The deaths of Private Poate, Lance Corporal Stjepan Milosevic and Sapper James Martin were the subject of a civilian inquest after the families of the dead soldiers were dissatisfied with the Defence Force's inquiry.
Five years on, Mrs Poate said, "Not a day goes by that I don't think about Robbie".
"I have my days where I'll just lose it - I can be very teary.
"Sometimes I'll get a lovely warm message from one of his soldier friends and it would just reduce me to tears."
Mrs Poate joined Remount, a horsemanship program designed to help returned servicemen and women, and their families, to manage the impacts of loss, work stress, combat stress or post-traumatic stress disorder, to re-establish their lives and develop new careers post-service.
She joined in the hope she could feel close to her son.
"He's not only my son, he's kind of like my best mate - we did everything together and I miss that," she said.
"I guess I'm kind of seeking the feeling of my son a little through the veterans in the Remount program because they're army boys like him."
On Monday, Remount was given a boost by Lockheed Martin Australia, which announced a sponsorship deal between the organisations.
The sponsorship will support a further eight programs in 2018, allowing an extra 30 returned servicemen and women, and their families, to reconnect through horsemanship.
Remount was set up by Yass couple Ben and Marina Maguire after they ran a campdraft in Longreach, Queensland and worked with soldiers and horses in 2013.
"When we started, we had a very clear ambition to not seek funding, we wanted to build our capacity and capability and credibility with the veteran community so that was always our focus, Lockheed heard the work we were doing and approached us,"
Mr Maguire said the the program had run with the help from volunteers and the new funding from Lockheed Martin would allow it to expand.
He said the 2017 programs were booked out and the 2018 program would be expanded to cater for the 30 people on the wait list.
"Program participants learn to ride a horse and muster up to 300-head of cattle by day, while in the evening they can sit around a campfire and share stories of their military experience," he said.
Chief executive of Lockheed Martin Australia New Zealand Vince Di Pietro, at the Australian War Memorial in Canberra, said the Remount program made a significant difference to people's health and well-being.
Mrs Poate, who now volunteers with Remount, said the program had helped her "get back into life" and "get back in the saddle".
"The soldiers get a lot out of it, with one particular soldier I saw he didn't smile much on day one, he hadn't ridden a horse before and he kept saying 'this is pretty darn uncomfortable' but he kept going and you couldn't wipe the smile off his face and I couldn't take the smile off my face looking at him," Mrs Poate said.
"I've been involved with a lot of veteran organisations, but this one does stand out - it's because of the care and the passion that the group - it blows me away."
Mrs Poate said she often wondered "where would my life be" if she hadn't joined Remount.
"It has helped me personally, just watching these people," she said. "I just found myself welling up with tears at the end of it."
