The footsteps begin two minutes after the reading light goes out. Wombat paws first, trying to break into the carrot patch, guarded by two metres of reinforcing mesh and metre of chicken wire, dug in 30 cm deep. The wallabies arrive after that, heading for the apple trees, followed by two thuds, a grunt and a scream of rage as the possum slides off the roof.
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At the moment the possum is full of loquat fruit and young loquat leaves: a fat possum, tempting for a powerful owl, but this guy has been evading owls for at least 15 years. I think he's safe.
Other marauders are quieter. Slugs glide silently into the lettuces. Snails sneak up the zucchini. The citrus caterpillars are defoliating the native limes, which the limes don't seem to mind at all. Possibly a bit of caterpillar pruning is good for them, in the wild or in our garden. The slugs don't eat much lettuce, either, but finding a slug in your mouthful of lettuce is one of life more unpleasant gustatory experiences.
There are many, many ways to foil the nightly invasion.
Some are easy. Sprinkle the talcum power Aunt Gladys gave you for your birthday around the lettuce. Slugs do not like a talcum powder covered tummy, plus it uses up the talcum powder. Flour works almost as well, but goes gummy after sprinkle of rain, or even a thick dew. White pepper is also effective, as is coffee grounds or finely chopped human hair.
Ask your friendly hairdresser for the sharp-ended leftovers from the haircuts of a dozen blokes. Long tresses don't work at all- you need lots of bristly ends. Beard trimmings are also useful. These methods also work with snails.
Other ways are pure fun. My current favourite possum foiler is cutting the top and bottoms off plastic soda or mineral water bottles. Slit the middle bits in half long ways. Fit carefully over pergolas and tree trunks - you may need two or three to go around them completely. This is slightly more complicated than it sounds, like most of life, but once you start hooshing plastic onto wood you'll work out what to do. Possum claws are no match for plastic bottles. They'll fail to gain purchase on the vertical parts of pergolas and either retreat or - if their momentum is too eager - fall off. Ditto horizontal pergolas. Result: pristine roses. Except for the aphids, but hopefully the roses will be too high up for you to worry about a few hundred aphids. This is also the best solution to pear and cherry slug. Plant your pear and cherry trees behind the shed, and you may never know the sawfly larvae (aka pear and sherry slug) have invaded.
I also have a collection of calico bags that can be tied over my favourite fruit, or bunches of fruit, especially bird tempting fat quinces I want to hang on the tree till mid winter. The fruit ripens well inside them; all thieves are foiled, except human ones and even they may be put off by the - by now slightly moldy - calico bags.
A little cunning, and you may never again get the feeling: "I'm sure I left 200 lettuces, six zucchini and a tree full of apples here last night." And when the possum slides off the pergola and gives an even louder howl of rage, grin, roll over, and go back to sleep.
This week I am:
- Almost growing tired of asparagus twice a day, except for Conover's Colossal, which is colossal, tender, and sweet.
- Planting more seeds of Conover's Colossal.
- Picking the first red currants, tiny red jewels to scatter on the to of desert. Any dessert. If it's sweet it will go beautifully with tiny acid burst of red currant.
- Trying to use up the frozen tomato puree before I need to freeze this season's. Ditto stewed apple and peaches.
- Watching as every day another bottlebrush bursts into flower. Bottlebrushes are not shy. There's nothing one day, then a glory of red, pink, scarlet or greenish white or Bryan's favourite purple the next. The weight of the flowers this year has made them look like weepers or maybe that is the weight of birds too, getting into the nectar or the insects attracted by its sweetness. Nesting time is a hungry period for birds, though not around here.
- Realising none of the carrot seed germinated i.e. no round crisp carrots for Christmas. Bother. But the tomatoes are getting fat, and three colours and shapes of zucchini should make up for them.
