Angry little Vegemite's prima donna effort

He was prime minister no more, but by Jasper, he was The Foreign Minister. Mr Rudd wore that FM's badge as if it were a more senior rank than PM.

He would jet about constantly as Australia's minister-at-large. He would shake hands with the most important people in world politics. And rattle off international crisis spots as if peace depended on his say so.

All the while, Rudd kept telling us how happy he was in his new job. Impossibly, ''I'm very happy being the Foreign Minister'' overtook ''fair shake of the sauce bottle'' and ''I've got to zip'' to become the Klassic Kevin Katchcry.

Indeed, he said nothing about the fact that he had recently been dumped in the most humiliating way possible. And that the polls now had him as more popular than his successor. He didn't have to. Everyone else said it for him.

But Australia, doubt yourself no more. The real Kevin is one angry little Vegemite. And he's been willing to toast his beloved foreign ministry post to prove it. (How ironic that Kim Beazley - the man Rudd deposed in 2006 - gets the honour of discharging him of his duties in Washington DC).

So, another day, another surprise midnight media appearance. But Rudd didn't call the meeting to simply say ''Hello world, I'm a changed man''. This time, he meant nuclear war.

Rudd began by declaring that he was turning in his FM badge with a ''genuinely heavy heart'' after a serious bout of ''personal reflection''. But he did so with a steely, steely look in his eye. The faceless men and Simon Crean were out to get him. Other ministers had no confidence in him. The Prime Minister had failed to back him up. And he couldn't possibly go to Tunisia in a state like this. To add to that, business, the Queensland election, good governance and the Australian people were suffering under the yoke of Speculation Nation.

It simply wouldn't do. Oh yes, Kevin was clawing for the moral high ground and no amount of hypocrisy or overstatement would stand in his way. It was a performance for which any prima donna would be proud. Julia Gillard has had months to think about the Kevin issue but she hesitated at the last minute and Rudd turned the tables on her big time. Meanwhile, the MP formerly known as FM has flounced off to consider what he should ''do next'' - leaving everyone else like a shag on a rock.

It remains to be seen exactly who has been ''rat f---ed'' this time.