Jennifer Haynes has waited decades to "smack" her father in the mouth over his monstrous sexual abuse and she assumed 33 of her 2500 personalities to do so.
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"I'm not chickening out," the 49-year-old said through tears as she stared him down in Sydney's Downing Centre District Court on Friday.
Richard Haynes, 74, pleaded guilty mid-trial in March to dozens of counts of rape, buggery and indecent assault committed against Jennifer in the 1970s and 1980s.
Ms Haynes, who has consented to be identified, was aged between four and 11 at the time.
She said there were insufficient words "to do justice to the enormity" of the impact of his abuse on her life.
But vile, extreme, sadistic, inescapable, unavoidable and overwhelming were some of the words she uttered at Haynes' sentence hearing before Judge Sarah Huggett.
She looked across at her father - who smirked and stared down in the dock for the hearing - and declared: "Scum."
"He heard me beg him to stop, he heard me cry, he saw the pain, the terror he was inflicting upon me," she said, reading from her lengthy victim impact statement.
"He saw the blood and the physical damage he caused and the next day he chose to do it all over again. My dad's abuse was calculated and it was planned."
Ms Haynes said her father made her feel valueless and less than human.
She has dissociative identity disorder - previously known as multiple personality disorder.
Her father's sexual abuse forced her to develop the thousands of personalities as the only way to cope, including "Muscles" and four-year-old "Symphony", who were two of the 33 identities she embodied on Friday while giving evidence.
"All the other alters ... have done their job so well and kept Jenny alive," she said.
"When Dad nearly killed us physically, Symphony removed the alter who was almost dead and replaced them with a fresh alter to keep going."
Outside court, Ms Haynes - who regularly wears outfits with bejewelled butterflies on them - said Symphony is "still in the chrysalis phase because we haven't got justice yet".
"Symphony will get to be a butterfly at long last," she said.
"I can't wait to see him be led away (and) taken down to jail."
Ms Haynes has a permanent colostomy bag - which she described as a "degrading, daily reminder" of her father's crimes - and unending issues with eyesight, hearing, dentistry and mental health.
"My dad stole my glasses off my face every time he wanted to abuse me," she told the court.
"He took away my eyes and held them hostage. Whenever I cannot see or my vision is impaired, I panic and am plunged into flashbacks."
Haynes' depraved rituals have made her fear birthdays, relationships, men, bathrooms and even enjoying food.
Her father told her that her mother would "spontaneously combust" if she ever revealed the abuse.
"He implied she would drop down dead," Ms Haynes said.
"He expanded my concept of 'telling' to include any kind of demonstration of pain, fear, terror or discomfort."
Ms Haynes said she would never understand what a normal father-daughter relationship should look like or experience the joy of having a baby - and she'd probably always be alone.
"Dad has destroyed my life," she said.
"He has sent a wrecking ball through my hopes and my dreams."
Ms Haynes pleaded with Judge Huggett to send her father to prison "for a very long time".
The sentence hearing was adjourned until July 10.
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Australian Associated Press
