The music never dies for our former prime ministers.
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They're only just getting started.
The music might have died in May for Scott Morrison but now he's at the buffet of post parliamentary perks.
To butcher the metaphor, he's in the elite realm of the proverbial trough where all piglets invariably go.
Former prime ministers Tony Abbott, John Howard, Malcolm Turnbull, Paul Keating, Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd cost taxpayers almost $2 million in the 12 months to March this year.
It's not a huge amount in a $630 billion Federal Budget, but I could think of numerous instances where the money could be better spent.
We pay former PMs' airline travel, at 30 return trips in Australia each year; use of government limousines; a fully maintained private plated vehicle; office accommodation and up to three staff, fit-out and maintenance; stationery, printing and phones installed at work and home.
They get all this for life.
Malcolm Turnbull was the biggest claimant, costing taxpayers $459,837; John Howard claimed $434,910; Tony Abbott, $388,490 and then the Labor cheapskates, Kevin Rudd claimed $199,336; Paul Keating $198,048 and Julia Gillard claimed a mere $143,476.
This is what they really mean when they talk of parliamentary entitlements.
They don't mean what ex-PMs are entitled to; they mean parliamentarians with a sense of entitlement.
Before I harp on about this reckless expenditure of taxpayers' money, I might point out that although her husband, the late Sir John Gorton, lost the prime ministership in 1971, Lady Nancy Gorton still collects up to $400 a year in a telecommunications allowance half a century later.
The late Malcolm Fraser lost the election and his prime ministership in 1983, but his wife Tamie Fraser also collects up to $400 a year in telecommunications allowance.
God, we are a generous lot.
It is shameful that while the battlers are struggling with the cost of living, we continue to indulge former politicians with post parliamentary largesse no matter when they left parliament.
This is one of the many rorts associated with politics.
I guess former PMs have a degree of star power in the few years after they quit parliament and so they will inevitably be invited to lots of venues as a guest speaker or conference participant simply because they were once the PM.
I get that, but John Howard lost office 15 years ago, Paul Keating lost office 26 years ago and Kevin Rudd almost a decade ago.
For these veterans it's all net income.
How I would love to face retirement or even semi-retirement with generous free travel, a private plated vehicle, free office costs, free telecommunications and staff until I die.
Remember that we don't set these conditions and allowances.
Politicians created them for themselves. Of course they did, stupid.
In what other industry does someone qualify for a golden handshake of between $40,000 and $100,000, called a "resettlement allowance"?
This special golden handshake is available for most MPs who either lost an election or lost party endorsement.
Five of the former PMs mentioned here also enjoy a generous pension for life of around $300,000 a year because they were elected prior to 2004 when the old and very generous parliamentary superannuation scheme was axed for new MPs.
Malcolm Turnbull missed out by a whisker because he was elected at the 2004 federal election. He still gets to enjoy the post-prime ministerial buffet.
I not being too hard. I'm mindful that parliament at a state and federal level consists of the best minds society has to offer. The same goes for local government.
I've seen first hand how hard most politicians and aldermen and councillors work.
State and federal MPs can rarely afford to take holidays and when they do, like a family trip to Hawaii, we don't forgive them no matter what the circumstances.
An average week for a politician has no weekend, and they basically work a minimum 12-hour day.
Of course, you've got to look at these issues in context.
I say that to show how I'm evaluating both sides of the issue and definitely not taking cheap pot shots. Honest.
I just think the buffet of perks they get in the after-life is too generous to be available for life.
Public life is a popularity contest so we elect those whom we both respect and admire.
Prime ministers are at the very top of the cherry tree.
In the modern presidential style of election campaigns, it's the party leader who voters are evaluating and judging, more so than ideology and policies, so success or failure for a leader's political party rests squarely on the leader.
Perhaps this is a key reason why we pamper them in life after politics, although I have to keep reminding myself that we never pampered anybody.
They pampered themselves and we just picked up the tab.
- Barry Prismall, former Examiner deputy editor and Liberal advisor.